Christmas Tag

1. What is your Favorite Christmas Movie?
“Her Majesty’s Secret Service”

2. What is your Least favorite Christmas Movie
“It’s a Wonderful Life” (That’s right. That’s what I said.)

3. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Sting’s version of “I Saw Three Ships” is currently my favorite.

4. What Christmas song(s) drives you crazy?
Okay, for some reason, everywhere I go this year they are playing “Little Saint Nick” by the Beach Boys and it is starting to get to me.

5. What is your favorite Christmas drink? (e.g., egg nog, hot chocolate)
Mimosas

6. What is your favorite Christmas memory?
I’m not sure I have just one…but the Denver Christmas where everyone was there and we were all tripping over cousins and I got to experience real snow and we were overwhelmed with good food…that was a good one…

7. What is the best toy/gift you've received on Christmas?
Hmmmm…my doll house was pretty neat…I had the bike Christmas…then there was the iPod Touch I got last year…

8. What is the worst toy/gift you've received on Christmas?
I got a purse from a well-meaning aunt during my least girly-girl phase. Of course, now, if she would like to buy me a purse…

9. What do you LOVE about the holidays?
I like how the most random people just say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to you as you go about your normal routine. During the times when we would normally just ignore each other, in December you start chatting and wishing each other well.

10. What annoys you about the holidays?
People who automatically assume the holidays are going to be a huge burden and consequently miss all the fun.

11. Do you prefer star or angel on top of a Christmas tree? Or something else?
I have a really pretty star for the top of my tree.

12. What is your family favorite recipe at Christmas?
Pecan tasties

13. Are you a Grinch or a Who at Christmastime?
I’m a Who, socks and all.

14. Christmas light displays—love them or hate them?
The more ridiculous the better

15. Santa's at the mall—fun times or creepy?
Okay, I admit it, I’m a little scared of the mall Santa.

16. Christmas cards—do you send them, yes or no?
Yes

17. What is the best thing about Christmas, in your opinion?
The family getting together and showering each other with attention.

18. What is the worst thing about Christmas?
This year: snarky Target commercials.

19. When do you put the tree up and take it down?
I think I’m going to skip the tree this year because I’m not sure where it will fit in my little apartment, but I know the big tree is waiting for me at Mom’s.

20. Out of the 12 Days of Christmas, which day and item would you want your truelove to give to you?
Hello? Five golden rings!

21. Why do you think that Grandma got run over by a reindeer?
A little too much nog in her egg.

22. Who is your favorite reindeer?
Blitzen: the German reindeer

23. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Yep, and I’ve been very very good.

24. What is your favorite smell at Christmas time?
Whatever’s cooking in my Mom’s kitchen.

25. What would make you happy at Christmas this year?
Everybody happy and healthy at home.

Thanks

I don’t believe Christmas carols should be played until December. Perhaps I’m in the minority, but that’s just how I feel. I, of course, cannot avoid them if I wish to purchase anything between now and December 1. I’ve decided the problem is that there is no traditional Thanksgiving music so I, in my pre-vacation goof-offing-ness, have begun the first annual Thanksgiving Mix: A Mix to Eat Too Much By.

Thank U Alanis Morissette
These Are Days 10,000 Maniacs
Come Together Macy Gray
Gimme Some Lovin’ The Spencer Davis Group
All About Our Love Sade
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) Green Day
Glad You’re Here Macy Gray, featuring Fergie
Thankyou The Creatures

Didn’t make it, but honorable mentions:
All Tomorrow’s Parties The Velvet Underground
Drama L7
Fly Sugar Ray

Mosquitoes and Other Things That Start With M

I got the format from Murat, who borrowed it from someone else. So it goes.

Consumed with: Melancholy. (Dramatic, I know.) Perhaps I should say, “Consumed by melancholy.” I’m trying very hard to just cheer up already. I try new things, I work on good habits, I treat myself, I talk to loved ones, I actualize positive processes to facilitate growth and communication…but…Melancholy consumes me in the way that mosquitoes consume people. I’m laid back, sipping my beer on the porch of life when damn it if there isn’t a high-pitched buzzing in my ear. There it is again, that melancholy stinging briefly and ruining the moment, and then leaving itchy little welts to ruin the upcoming moments. I’m trying really hard to get on with it already, but melancholy is just brushed away briefly before coming back to bug me some more.

Hoping for: A lightening bolt of inspiration. No? How about a strong breeze of encouragement?

Listening to: Beck’s “Think I’m In Love” What if it’s wrong? What if it’s wrong to play the game?

Enjoying: My guitar. Among my “trying new things” has been “teach myself guitar.” I like it. I only know how to play a chromatic scale and three chords so far, but I like playing them. Trying to play an insanely simplified three-chord version of “Leaving on a Jet Plane” has been like mosquito repellent (to keep the metaphor going).

Just finished reading: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I enjoy Brown’s books for what they are: paperback thrillers. Unnecessary sex and violence while discussing art trivia? Yes please. People who take his books too seriously should go look up the word “fiction.” (Then they should read Dr. No by Ian Fleming.) Like The Da Vinci Code, this book is over the top and cliff-hangery and I enjoyed it like a rerun of “The A-Team.”

Watching: “The Prisoner” Actually, I just finished watching the remake but I’m still thinking about it, which is always the sign of a good show. My Dad introduced me to the original series through reruns on one of his thousands of cable channels. It’s surreal and vaguely creepy stuff, but entertaining for unidentifiable reasons. I suppose because you have to interpret so much of the lunacy without spoon-fed explanations that you get out of the Village what you take in. In my opinion, the remake lived up to its predecessor, thanks mostly to Ian McKellen who was clearly enjoying himself as Number Two. Favorite quote, “That’s unusually deep for a Thursday.”

Wishing for: A winning lottery ticket—even a metaphorical one would do.

Bee Keeping

If you have decided to try your hand at bee keeping, please consider the following:

Keep your bee with perspective. His is a working class, after all. A yellow-and-black collared class that finds its bread in routine, its opiate in tradition. It’s the doing, day in and out, that interests him. To try and persuade him to your undoings will result in an uncomfortable silence between the two of you.

Keep your bee with precision. He is a creature of order, of sequence, of simple geometry. He does not crave higher mathematics so do not waste his time with imaginary numbers and impractical theorems. He is clockwork unburdened by cogs and springs.

Keep your bee with timing. Something smooth and sequential for the comings and goings and one’s and two’s of a day. A nice three-four waltz is charming for all seasons. Nothing too modern is necessary, nothing too formal is desired.

Keep your bee with sagacity. Professions with elaborate hats can lead to inanity and regular usage of smokers can cause abandonment of propriety in inappropriate moments. Curb any lack of inhibition post haste or else risk losing face with the bee.

Keep your bee with peace. He is not cunning nor knows the way of war. He will sacrifice himself, fodder in some incomprehensible confrontation, if he is met with hostility.

Keep your bee with faith. He knows he can fly. You should just trust that he can, too, despite physics and whatnot.

Keep your bee with family. His nature is to nurture. Blood is thicker than water and honey thicker still.

Thanks. Much.

Semicolon on the mass-transit bus:
a working man’s punctuation.
Night-shift in the logic of proofs?
Moonlighting in scientific notation?
No, no, just a little instructional clarification.
Throw your trash away; bins have been provided.

Sock Monkey Days

She sat
12 minutes into work
hungry for sock monkey days
homesick for milky teas
and excesses of blankets
and musty stacks of paper
losing their bindings to the woes of time
she sat
13 minutes into reality
but awash in Xanadus
constructed of rain and tent forts
and erstwhile memories
of small-fingered ways

But I like turtles!

A while ago I started this turtle with the big goal of “Write something. Anything.” If the smatterings of randomness that I’ve posted have proved anything, it’s that I’ve met that particular goal. Now, I’ve got a new goal and a new—I’ll just say it—blog. Because it’s going to be a blog. It’s going to be one of those bloggy blogs that people write. It’s not going to be called a turtle and feature the erstwhile adventures of ravens and/or random musical postings. It’s going to have a clear, organized point. God-of-your-choosing help me, it’s a blog. Sigh.

For continued nonsense see Bones. For bloggy blogness, see Anne Evolves.

It promises to be somewhat focused writing. We’ll see how long this experiment lasts.

Damn

keeps

the lie keeps
close to the chest
warm and wet
unrealized
in its simplicity
the complicities
of the implications
have no place
interwoven between
hand on hand on
skin on bone
on lie
close to the chest

'tween

‘tween
book pages
and cold smooth stones
and nevermores
and mores again
she falters
if just briefly
sun flickering out
behind the stained glass
and once this was
and twice this goes
and three for the money
and blinks back on
neon crowned cross
because that’s how we roll
tithe
bleed
ingest
go

Stickers

Stefanie started sticking stickers.
She started in Steubenville
and stuck to it till Strasenburgh
—where she stopped briefly for strudel—
but started sticking stuff again
with a stupefying amount of stickers.
Her stick-to-itiveness was quite stupendous.
Standing by, students were struck,
even stirred, as she strode and stuck
on steps and on Studebakers,
on stirrups and on street signs,
on sticks and on stenographers,
on steam trunks and on sturgeons,
on straps and on strobe lights,
on stencils and on starlets’ staffers,
on stilts and on startled state troopers,
Stefanie strove forward,
sticking her stickers on whole stacks of stuff,
until, strength gone, she stuttered, “This is stupid,”
and stopped.

The Logic of Decision Making

Given
1) This will feel good
2) This will hurt me
3) This will lead to effect 1B/positive
4) This will adversely hinder otherwise folks than me
5) This is, in effect, the same as (6)
6) This is, in effect, the same as (5)
Then
One coin
78 cards
Two distinct lifelines
Three shoes (unrelated)
And one jalapeño burning on Mrs. Argawal’s stove
Result
That’s how it goes

this particular ghost

she’s planning when
she should forfeit this particular ghost
broken lines on the upper hand
and spooky Tarot card readings
trump binary logic
and PhD machinations
any day (now)
Casper put aside
she resigns herself to country music
and condescending stares from behind the pearls
See you on the flipside,
I’ve got a moon to shoot.

Wooo! Ahwoooooooooo

Create a setting:
two years revisited
My life was interesting when…
sleepless yearnings caused daytime delusions
On my summer vacation I…
kept wakeful considerations as pets
I like it when…
retrospective retroaction remains unresponsive
Clap your hands if you…
are currently experiencing déjà vu and are gonna do it again
Describe a character in one sentence:
Referring to previous obligations obliquely, she coquetted her way out of another fine mess.

Ahwooooooooooooo

waking up with want
—tattoo, puppy, tea—
erstwhile ravens
succeeded by werewolves
—no, no, no, I love geckos, really—
it’s all the scar tissue
it’s makes me feel
less broken

smudged maybe

—and tacos—

still a little more option b

A Moment from Paris

What I lack in skill, I make up in enthusiasm. Or, I just make up.

I’m back from my travels in gay Paris. It was a tremendously wonderful experience that is almost too much for words. I literally started to cry at points in the journey I was so full of happiness. My 30th birthday exceeded all my expectations.

Neither my mother nor I speak French. We picked up a few key words and phrases, but mostly we relied and the French and their knowledge of English. The natives we met seemed to me to be a delightful and friendly people who were pleasantly amused by us and our haphazard forays into their language. My vocabulary of French mostly consists of exclamations which, as my mother realized in an elevator in Paris, come from one source.

Bon jour, mes amis!

The Nearly 100

San posted this one over at her turtle. It’s ridiculously long, but I’ve got five days till my Paris vacation and I’m suffering from major goof-off-itis. If you have participated in one of the following 100 things, bold it. (I should point out that the list of 100 was short three when I copy-and-pasted so I made some up to get the true one hundred.)

1. Started my own blog Apparently so.

2. Slept under the stars And thought at the time, this will be a poignant memory at some point in my future. (Check.)

3. Played in a band No, though I still have dreams…

4. Visited Hawaii Pretty much all it’s cracked up to be.

5. Watched a meteor shower And made some wishes.

6. Given more than I can afford to charity Almost habitually. I am my mother's daughter.

7. Been to Disneyland/world Still need to get to the one in Florida.

8. Climbed a mountain I did go up one of the Mt. Franklin hiking trails, but it didn’t go all the way to the top.

9. Held a praying mantis No, are you insane?!

10. Sung a solo No, but I’ve sung many the duet in my car.

11. Bungee jumped No, again with the insanity?!

12. Visited Paris Once, for my 17th birthday, and I will be returning soon for my 30th.

13. Watched lightning at sea No, but I’ve seen heat lightening in the desert which I’m betting is at least as cool.

14. Taught myself an art from scratch If you count scrapbooking and you would if you could see my scrapbooks.

15. Adopted a child No, but I’ve bowled for kids’ sake (Big Brothers, Big Sisters fundraiser).

16. Had food poisoning Yes. Hardcore, wish-I-were-dead, couldn’t eat for two weeks, after that could only eat plain tortillas for a month, got it from seafood food poisoning. Don’t recommend it.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty Haven’t even seen her in person.

18. Grown my own vegetables Unless you count bean sprouts for a grade school science project.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France Yes, she refused to come to Texas.

20. Slept on an overnight train From Rome to Paris.

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitchhiked No, though I’ve bummed a few rides off of friends.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill Sha–you think?

24. Built a snow fort No, but I’ve built many a couch-cushion-sheet fort.

25. Held a lamb No, smelly.

26. Gone skinny dipping Jumped a fence to go skinny dipping.

27. Run a marathon “In the time it takes to run a marathon I could have a dinner party and a glass of wine.”—Kate Mulgrew

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice While being serenaded in Italian.

29. Seen a total eclipse Both moon and sun.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset Yes, though the sunrises have always been under duress.

31. Hit a home run I think I might have kicked one once in kickball.

32. Been on a cruise One to Cozumel and one to Alaska. I highly recommend the one to Alaska.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught myself a new language No, but the cursing is self-taught.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied I probably have but I’ve never believed it.

38. Filled out a meme that claimed to be a list of a 100 but wasn’t really because they left out 38, 39, and 90

39. Been sarcastic

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David And seen the David’s Herald Johnson

41. Sung karaoke Once. At a small private party. Possibly drinking. I don’t want to talk about it.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt Right on time.

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant No, but I’ve had one buy me a meal. Though, honestly, by that time we were becoming fast friends.

44. Visited Africa No, but I’m willing.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight More than once, but I think Miami Beach was most memorable.

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had my portrait painted Kind of. I painted a watercolor self-portrait in my high school art class.

48. Gone deep sea fishing No, but I’ve gone night club trawling.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person A. Maze. Ing.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris Well, I got to the halfway point. Then the wind started to blow. Were you aware that the entire Tower moves in the wind? I had a panic attack and came down quickly. I did make it to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. Apparently, alcohol is a big help.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling Snorkeled in Hawaii.

52. Kissed in the rain No, sigh.

53. Played in the mud I’ll have you know I was a mud pie master chef.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater There was a working one outside of El Paso for quite some time, though I’m not sure it’s still there. I remember my Dad taking us and him hooking the speaker on the car door, but that’s about it.

55. Been in a movie Unless you count home videos.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China No, but I’m willing.

57. Started a business Oh, I’ve started some business...

58. Taken a martial arts class I got to orange belt in karate. One of the bravest things I ever did. Kind of wish I had stuck with it.

59. Visited Russia No, but I went to the Little Russia Gift Shoppe in Skagway, Alaska and had a ball.

60. Served at a soup kitchen Kind of. I prepared meals for a meals-on-wheels program.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies Yes, door-to-door. One of the other bravest things I’ve ever done.

62. Gone whale watching Yes, outside of Juneau. Totally worth it just for hearing 40 adults go “oooohhhh” in unison like little kids.

63. Got flowers for no reason Like, I was walking through the HEB flower department and thought, “Those look nice. I think I’ll get some of those.”? No? Sigh.

64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma Donated blood two times. Passed out two times. Have been disinclined to participate since.

65. Gone sky diving See #50.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check No, but only because I took my mother’s sage council and got overdraft protection

68. Flown in a helicopter No, but I think I want to.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy Ha. Ha ha. Yes. Just a few…shelves. I never stopped getting them.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar But I prefer escargot.

72. Pieced a quilt No, but I hand stitched a butterfly in the Girl Scouts.

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades But I been down to the bayou.

75. Been fired from a job Does the college newspaper count? It feels like it should count.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London Sort of. From across the street, over a large crowd of heads, if I jumped.

77. Broken a bone Fractured a wrist and pulled a couple ribs.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle No, but I’ve ridden in a speeding dune buggy driven by a one armed man who was drinking a beer.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person A. Maze. Ing.

80. Published a book I have several assessment related volumes to my name. Working on the personal stuff.

81. Visited the Vatican Wow. Big. Like big big.

82. Bought a brand new car No, though my father let me say I did while he did the, you know, purchasing.

83. Walked in Jerusalem No, but I vomited in Las Vegas and then went back to dancing.

84. Had my picture in the newspaper Academic Decathlon champions. Oh yeah.

85. Read the entire Bible No, but I like that tower of Babylon bit.

86. Visited the White House No. When we were in Washington, D.C. we couldn’t go on the tour for some reason (renovations or something) and it seemed quite disappointing. However, the next day, they got us up at dawn (see 30.) so we would be the first in line at the Washington Monument. It's 5:30 in the morning, we’re about to get off the bus when someone yelled, “Look it’s the President, he’s jogging by.” No kidding! We piled out of the bus. Bill Clinton stopped, shook hands, posed for photos, and went jogging on his way. So, I let the White House thing go.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating Not the same animal, no. Unless you count mussels.

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life Not that I’m aware of.

90. Been to Graceland (I made up my own because, again, the list was lacking.) No, but I wanna. I really really wanna.

91. Met someone famous See 86.

92. Joined a book club No, but not for lack of trying.

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby No, but I’ve been accused of having a cow more than once.

95. Seen the Alamo in person I’ve made out in front of the Alamo. (For anyone reading this who hasn’t seen the Alamo, it’s smack dab in the middle of downtown SA near some of the bigger party bars and clubs so this isn’t as shocking as it might seem. Really. It was only kind of in bad taste.)

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake Not really, but I went and stuck two fingers in just for this type of question.

97. Been involved in a law suit I’ve been a member of a jury.

98. Owned a cell phone It’s 2009 and I’m an American.

99. Been stung by a bee No, but I been the victim of a couple wasps.

100. Ridden an elephant I swear I have an early childhood memory of doing this at a zoo somewhere, but there seems to be no photographic evidence to support this.

a hastily slid in wish

a hastily slid in wish
benigno numine
looked askance at
in the glarier moments of light
ow, lux
this most basic need
dis aliter visum
in particular parameters
would be fine
dante Deo
but it’s not worth admitting

Quote of the Day

The production of something, where nothing was before, is an act of greater energy than the expansion or decoration of the thing produced.
—Samuel Johnson

"all the words that got in the way"

Love’s just another mix on the iPod
unabashedly listening to other’s odes to you
opening myself up to one more (and one more) heartache
because two tracks later we’ll be in love again
whoever you may be
I’m sure you’ll like dancing to this next one

Poetry’s just another way to kill time
another scribble in the margin
near infinity but above the hash marks and flowers
maybe Shakespeare was no good
at drawing roses either

Happiness is just a stomachache
and why aren’t you in bed already
you should be more responsible
tomorrow’s Monday
and what was I saying

Alice

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?

NIOSA

One puffy taco
One egg roll
One postcard
One medal
One chicken dance
Two cumbias
Two margaritas
Two sangrias
Three beignets
A whole lot of confetti
(in the air, in my hair, in my drink)
But that’s it. I have to work tomorrow.

passing

indomitable woman
fourteen and talking to God
your shield: cloth
your weapon: voice
your citadel: the linked arms of the women around you
the indomitable women
marching into their daily war,
their afternoon battle,
their nightly siege
their ever encounter
your steady stance
of heart-born knowledge:
that wasn’t all you were going to be

A Game of Tag

The latest game of tag by way of Murat11 from the lands of a few other turtles. Answer all the questions, except one that you don’t like. Replace the unloved question with a new one of your own. Then, add a new question.

What is your obsession at the moment?
Paris, France. Come June 22, little lost in the world me will be 30. I’m mostly all empowered about it, with an occasional bout of, “Oh come on, really?!” I figured nothing less than fabulousness is called for to celebrate such a moment. So, Mom and I are planning a jaunt to Paris. Where to stay? What to do? What will it cost? Apparently the difference between visiting Paris now and visiting Paris at 17 is an awareness of logistics.

What are you not wearing at the moment?
A tiara, though I could totally rock it out if I were.

Do you nap regularly?
I get home from work just in time to watch the nightly news with Brian Williams. Perhaps it’s his dulcet tones, or the comfy factor of my couch, but I’ve developed the habit of falling asleep about halfway through the national news and waking right at the beginning of the local.

What’s your theme song?
“Everybody” by Macy Gray

What do you want to change?
The mood at work. It’s so tense right now.

What are you going to have for dinner?
Lemon-thyme zucchini and goat cheese pizza. It’s a Weight Watchers recipe and is perfect for spring.

Your last purchase?
Bananas and Easter candy

What are you listening to at the moment?
“Migra” by Santana

Favorite weather?
Sunny and warm enough for short-sleeves but cool enough for porch sitting

Your goals?
Surviving and thriving

Say something to the person who tagged you:
Hey Murat, tell the missus that the Son of Pears has happily embraced Home Comforts this year with a check, a drive, and now there’s talk of a bake sale. Her candle continues to burn.

Favorite vacation location?
Right now, Paris. Though I love to go and see, so anywhere and everywhere.

Films you can watch over and over again:
The James Bonds, the Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, the Matrices, the Pirates of the Caribbeans, the Wallace and Grommets, the Hellboys, the X-Men, the Batmans…

What movie(s) will you never see again?
A.I., Eye of the Beholder, Transformers, Babylon A.D…Okay, actually I might watch that again even though it was a suckfest. What can I say, I like bubblegum movies. Sometimes I’m entranced by the sheer awfulness.

Favorite tea?
I was going to name something fancy here, but honestly I’m happy with my mug of green tea with lemon.

Book you are currently reading?
“First Among Sequels” by Jasper Fforde

What do you want to do one day?
Buy a house. Funny, that’s the first thing that came to mind.

Which quality would you like to have?
Published

Name one of your qualities:
Clever

What are you waiting for?
I ask myself that all the time. I currently have found no satisfying answer.

Which old-fashioned trend do you hope will soon return?
Hats. Let’s all wear more hats.

One song you're embarrassed to admit to liking:
“Womanizer” by Britney Spears. I give her studio team credit for making a catchy dance number.

Milkshake or crème brulee?
Milkshake

The Nose Knows

Thank God for minor tragedies,
how else to lubricate the sinuses
through the varying fluctuations
in barometric pressure.
Married men and allergies
and a nose bestowed by Poland,
I should have invested in Kleenex
and not in that new outfit.
It must have been a sign
when I smelled a skunk beforehand,
but now I’m simply stuffed with
snotty implications.

Impressions From a Mixer

Talking liquidly
a ghost bumps my shoulder
and a bit of my heart spills onto my blouse
—damn, that’ll stain.

Where to wander in a room
full of women with no last names
and men with two first?
Who to talk to when every stranger
is a card away from being a friend?
What to do when you don’t know
how to naturally mix at a Kaizen event?

Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you, this evening,
for participating, tonight, in this
opportunity, post-workday, for
outwardly mobile social dialogue.

Sharply narrowed,
tautly curved,
crisply pressed,
rattlesnake printed,
diamond-studded
—what’s the point?

The Unexpected Me

Early morning acidic sarcasm.
Late afternoon childish diplomacy.
Sentimental tears post-midnight.

Three Blink CDs in storage,
Invitation to business mixer by email.
Mala beads on the bedside table.

Discarded pariah,
Aching surveyor,
Emerging caretaker.

Documented,
Considered,
but still,
Where’d you come from?

Bluebird, what do you feed on?

by Carl Sandburg

Bluebird, what do you feed on?
It is true you gobble up worms, you
swallow bugs,
And your bill picks up corn, seed,
berries.
This is only part of the answer.
Your feathers have captured a piece of
smooth sky.
Your wings are burnished with
lake-morning blue.
It is not a worm blue nor a bug
blue nor the blue
Of corn or berry you shine with.
Bluebird, we come to you for facts,
for valuable
Information, for secret reports.
Bluebird, tell us, what do you
feed on?

Please Keep This Between Us

dark inklings
itching round
the corner of the eye
near the bridge
of the nose
exhaled outward
hmmmmmm
characters carousing
with very little wordplay
and I kinda figured
but didn't really
need to know

How to Care For a Blue-Footed Booby

First, know your limits. Is your pocketbook generous, your heart strong, your patience spectacular, and your knowledge of caviar replete? And how do you do with sharp beaks?

Accustomed to the clime of sandy coastal regions, the blue-footed booby flock to seaside resorts, summer regattas, and floating casinos. They respond well to praise, air kisses, and champagne toasts.

The blue-footed booby once had dreams of performing in the Russian ballet, web toes tripping lightly across the boards to such acclaim that swans would never be allowed near the lake again. Now they settle for summer stock and television hosting, with the occasional color commentary gig. You must support these endeavors with love, kindness, and multiple head-shots if you wish to keep your booby pleasantly inclined.

Traditionally of the B’Nai faith, younger blue-foots have become increasingly drawn toward Shamic Islam. This is merely for you own understanding of your booby; under no circumstances should you question a booby’s faith as they are apt to become stubborn and contrary.

When your booby throws its inevitable tantrums, let it sigh loudly and collapse against at least four pieces of furniture before trying to fetch your booby around with soft cooing noises and spa certificates.

The traditional attendant of sommeliers, blue-footed boobies make excellent companions to vineyard owners, bottlers, cork farmers, or anyone who enjoys drinking large quantities of wine. Should you form a rapport with your blue-foot you can expect years of witty conversations over crudités and soft embraces at sunset.

Popular names for blue-footed boobys include decapitated royalty, disgraced Olympians, and rock star widows.

Enjoy your new-found friend!

The Only Car I Drive

"UB Jesus" from David Byrne's Look Into the Eyeball

In celebration of those of you who do that Lent thing and those of us in our 40 days post White Tantric meditations.

Why, yes...

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Happy

Yesterday, in the momentary excitement of something I had previously struggled with suddenly working, I decided to keep an “Unexpected Joy” list. In my brief euphoria, I told myself that I should spend as much time appreciating the unexpected pleasures as I do bitching about the unexpected troubles. I should focus on the setfronts of life rather than the setbacks.
A minute after typing, “I entered my timesheet in the new system on the first try,” the new system crashed and I lost my timesheet. I redid it four times that morning and summarily deleted my Unexpected Joy list.
I’m so trying to have a good attitude. I can hear myself faking it in conversations, hoping I’ll make it stick internally. I can hear myself telling all my friends the right things in terms of their attitudes (a recent JSD post comes to mind), and then wishing I would listen to myself. I’m doing my best really. It’s just the stupid timesheet system didn’t work again!
This morning I saw a link “What is Happiness Anyway” and clicked. Apparently the universe thought I needed a little help in the attitude readjustment zone. You’ll see I have a new link called The Happiness Project. I recommend you check it out. It’s written by a woman with a good attitude and that’s always a good thing.

Happy New Year

The element of Earth and the sign of steady and reliable Ox are like having a no-nonsense drill sergeant move into your house. Sensitive, emotional, and sentimental Goats will be challenged to be more practical and disciplined. Nursing little fears or obsessive thoughts will take second place to addressing practical realities. This year, you will be the strong one. It is a lucky time to find your heart’s home. Although you place great emphasis on the joys and responsibilities of family life, do not hesitate to move in more independent directions.

Oh, to be a goat in such times...

Guest Speaker

President Barack Obama:

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. "

Meditation on an Office Supply

the year laid out before me
a comforting thickness on the desk of eternity
boxed little days filled
with exquisite pale blue hours
at the dentist on the 23rd
father’s birthday three rows up
reborn three pages later
quickly amassing times, dates,
indications of places
quickly passing holidays,
deadlines, and forget-me-nots
love notes for a schedule defined,
categorized,
marked
to impact
to count
to last
12 pages long

It’s Not a Love Song

Influx Transposer’s last post made me think of Maria Taylor's "Song Beneath the Song", then it was stuck in my head, and then I found it on You Tube….so there you go.

In the Cards

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2009

I was just talking to a friend on the phone and she read me the resolutions she wrote for herself last night. Rather than, “exercise more” and “pay off debt” type of resolutions she had big ideals written out succinctly to go towards the ultimate goal of being a better person. My favorite one of hers was, “Graciously accept the graciousness of others.” I’m going to do that too. I like her style of resolutions so in that spirit, for 2009, I’m going to

Appreciate

Appreciate who I am, the people I know, all that I have, and all the adventures life throws at my oh-so carefully laid plans.

(I’m also going to exercise more and pay off debt.)

Happy 2009