March 21, 2008


A riff on a tag of someone else’s declarative statements. Okay. Here goes:
1. I am a lip balm addict.
Yes, I am. And I am not ashamed. To be specific, I am a Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm addict. (The stick version. Those of you using your fingers to stick into miniature jars of goo to apply said balm have cooties. Yes you do. Do too.) My frequent balming led one friend to comment that the applying of lip balm only causes your lips to create less moisture which in turn leads to the use of more lip balm. I explained to her that was fine by me because I have more lip balm at home and clearly, then, lip balm is one of the things that separates us from the monkeys.

2. I can walk pretty fast in high heels.
It depends on what part of the day you catch me. I don’t wear heels too often so there is always a wobbly readjustment period in the early morning. Mid-morning, afternoonish I can zip around pretty well. By the end of the day the stupid things start to hurt, I slow down a bit, and I remember why I don’t wear them that often. Of course, if you catch me at night whilst drinking and dancing in a swanky establishment, well then, I’m a movie star and will feel no pain till tomorrow afternoon.

3. I love broccoli.
When I was little, my grandmother got me to eat broccoli by telling me that they were miniature trees. To this day, while dining on that divine little vegetable, my inner Godzilla roars at the unhappy picnickers of Central Park as I devour their shade givers and plan to schmorgesborg my way to the subway.

4. My current favorite movie is A Star is Born.
Uhg! Remade overly dramatic contrived 70’s fondue cheesey cheese, uhg! Love is an easy chair, ugh ugh! (I must digress to comment, though, that Kris Kristofferson has one of those gravelly whisky cowboy voices that all women born in Texas must occasionally fall prey too.) If you must go with retro Barbra Streisand (why? why?) at least go with What’s Up, Doc? It’s worth a viewing just for the scene where everyone tells Ryan O’Neal he’s upside down. Plus, anything with Madeline Khan…
My current favorite movie is Chocolat, which I recently rediscovered thanks to the movie channel. It’s really a love story between a mother and daughter, but there ain’t nothin’ wrong with the Johnny Depp interludes. Best line from the movie, it always gets me: “Why can’t you wear black shoes like the other mothers!?”

5. I really missed seeing the Oscars this year.
Me too! The show occurred during my enforced television hiatus. (See “Moved” for all the sad sad details.) Seeing the dresses later in a magazine just wasn’t the same. Sigh. Poor poor me.

6. I love making (and eating) good American pancakes.
I love my Mom making and then me eating German-style waffles. Cue, “Nobody Does It Better.”

7. I have a dozen scarves.
No, but I wish I did. I have lusted in my heart over other women’s scarves. I wear my two with quite √©lan, but think what I could do with a dozen! Sigh. Poor poor me.