June 30, 2009

What I lack in skill, I make up in enthusiasm. Or, I just make up.

I’m back from my travels in gay Paris. It was a tremendously wonderful experience that is almost too much for words. I literally started to cry at points in the journey I was so full of happiness. My 30th birthday exceeded all my expectations.

Neither my mother nor I speak French. We picked up a few key words and phrases, but mostly we relied and the French and their knowledge of English. The natives we met seemed to me to be a delightful and friendly people who were pleasantly amused by us and our haphazard forays into their language. My vocabulary of French mostly consists of exclamations which, as my mother realized in an elevator in Paris, come from one source.

Bon jour, mes amis!

June 15, 2009

The Nearly 100

San posted this one over at her turtle. It’s ridiculously long, but I’ve got five days till my Paris vacation and I’m suffering from major goof-off-itis. If you have participated in one of the following 100 things, bold it. (I should point out that the list of 100 was short three when I copy-and-pasted so I made some up to get the true one hundred.)

1. Started my own blog Apparently so.

2. Slept under the stars And thought at the time, this will be a poignant memory at some point in my future. (Check.)

3. Played in a band No, though I still have dreams…

4. Visited Hawaii Pretty much all it’s cracked up to be.

5. Watched a meteor shower And made some wishes.

6. Given more than I can afford to charity Almost habitually. I am my mother's daughter.

7. Been to Disneyland/world Still need to get to the one in Florida.

8. Climbed a mountain I did go up one of the Mt. Franklin hiking trails, but it didn’t go all the way to the top.

9. Held a praying mantis No, are you insane?!

10. Sung a solo No, but I’ve sung many the duet in my car.

11. Bungee jumped No, again with the insanity?!

12. Visited Paris Once, for my 17th birthday, and I will be returning soon for my 30th.

13. Watched lightning at sea No, but I’ve seen heat lightening in the desert which I’m betting is at least as cool.

14. Taught myself an art from scratch If you count scrapbooking and you would if you could see my scrapbooks.

15. Adopted a child No, but I’ve bowled for kids’ sake (Big Brothers, Big Sisters fundraiser).

16. Had food poisoning Yes. Hardcore, wish-I-were-dead, couldn’t eat for two weeks, after that could only eat plain tortillas for a month, got it from seafood food poisoning. Don’t recommend it.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty Haven’t even seen her in person.

18. Grown my own vegetables Unless you count bean sprouts for a grade school science project.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France Yes, she refused to come to Texas.

20. Slept on an overnight train From Rome to Paris.

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitchhiked No, though I’ve bummed a few rides off of friends.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill Sha–you think?

24. Built a snow fort No, but I’ve built many a couch-cushion-sheet fort.

25. Held a lamb No, smelly.

26. Gone skinny dipping Jumped a fence to go skinny dipping.

27. Run a marathon “In the time it takes to run a marathon I could have a dinner party and a glass of wine.”—Kate Mulgrew

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice While being serenaded in Italian.

29. Seen a total eclipse Both moon and sun.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset Yes, though the sunrises have always been under duress.

31. Hit a home run I think I might have kicked one once in kickball.

32. Been on a cruise One to Cozumel and one to Alaska. I highly recommend the one to Alaska.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught myself a new language No, but the cursing is self-taught.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied I probably have but I’ve never believed it.

38. Filled out a meme that claimed to be a list of a 100 but wasn’t really because they left out 38, 39, and 90

39. Been sarcastic

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David And seen the David’s Herald Johnson

41. Sung karaoke Once. At a small private party. Possibly drinking. I don’t want to talk about it.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt Right on time.

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant No, but I’ve had one buy me a meal. Though, honestly, by that time we were becoming fast friends.

44. Visited Africa No, but I’m willing.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight More than once, but I think Miami Beach was most memorable.

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had my portrait painted Kind of. I painted a watercolor self-portrait in my high school art class.

48. Gone deep sea fishing No, but I’ve gone night club trawling.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person A. Maze. Ing.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris Well, I got to the halfway point. Then the wind started to blow. Were you aware that the entire Tower moves in the wind? I had a panic attack and came down quickly. I did make it to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. Apparently, alcohol is a big help.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling Snorkeled in Hawaii.

52. Kissed in the rain No, sigh.

53. Played in the mud I’ll have you know I was a mud pie master chef.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater There was a working one outside of El Paso for quite some time, though I’m not sure it’s still there. I remember my Dad taking us and him hooking the speaker on the car door, but that’s about it.

55. Been in a movie Unless you count home videos.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China No, but I’m willing.

57. Started a business Oh, I’ve started some business...

58. Taken a martial arts class I got to orange belt in karate. One of the bravest things I ever did. Kind of wish I had stuck with it.

59. Visited Russia No, but I went to the Little Russia Gift Shoppe in Skagway, Alaska and had a ball.

60. Served at a soup kitchen Kind of. I prepared meals for a meals-on-wheels program.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies Yes, door-to-door. One of the other bravest things I’ve ever done.

62. Gone whale watching Yes, outside of Juneau. Totally worth it just for hearing 40 adults go “oooohhhh” in unison like little kids.

63. Got flowers for no reason Like, I was walking through the HEB flower department and thought, “Those look nice. I think I’ll get some of those.”? No? Sigh.

64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma Donated blood two times. Passed out two times. Have been disinclined to participate since.

65. Gone sky diving See #50.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check No, but only because I took my mother’s sage council and got overdraft protection

68. Flown in a helicopter No, but I think I want to.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy Ha. Ha ha. Yes. Just a few…shelves. I never stopped getting them.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar But I prefer escargot.

72. Pieced a quilt No, but I hand stitched a butterfly in the Girl Scouts.

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades But I been down to the bayou.

75. Been fired from a job Does the college newspaper count? It feels like it should count.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London Sort of. From across the street, over a large crowd of heads, if I jumped.

77. Broken a bone Fractured a wrist and pulled a couple ribs.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle No, but I’ve ridden in a speeding dune buggy driven by a one armed man who was drinking a beer.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person A. Maze. Ing.

80. Published a book I have several assessment related volumes to my name. Working on the personal stuff.

81. Visited the Vatican Wow. Big. Like big big.

82. Bought a brand new car No, though my father let me say I did while he did the, you know, purchasing.

83. Walked in Jerusalem No, but I vomited in Las Vegas and then went back to dancing.

84. Had my picture in the newspaper Academic Decathlon champions. Oh yeah.

85. Read the entire Bible No, but I like that tower of Babylon bit.

86. Visited the White House No. When we were in Washington, D.C. we couldn’t go on the tour for some reason (renovations or something) and it seemed quite disappointing. However, the next day, they got us up at dawn (see 30.) so we would be the first in line at the Washington Monument. It's 5:30 in the morning, we’re about to get off the bus when someone yelled, “Look it’s the President, he’s jogging by.” No kidding! We piled out of the bus. Bill Clinton stopped, shook hands, posed for photos, and went jogging on his way. So, I let the White House thing go.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating Not the same animal, no. Unless you count mussels.

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life Not that I’m aware of.

90. Been to Graceland (I made up my own because, again, the list was lacking.) No, but I wanna. I really really wanna.

91. Met someone famous See 86.

92. Joined a book club No, but not for lack of trying.

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby No, but I’ve been accused of having a cow more than once.

95. Seen the Alamo in person I’ve made out in front of the Alamo. (For anyone reading this who hasn’t seen the Alamo, it’s smack dab in the middle of downtown SA near some of the bigger party bars and clubs so this isn’t as shocking as it might seem. Really. It was only kind of in bad taste.)

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake Not really, but I went and stuck two fingers in just for this type of question.

97. Been involved in a law suit I’ve been a member of a jury.

98. Owned a cell phone It’s 2009 and I’m an American.

99. Been stung by a bee No, but I been the victim of a couple wasps.

100. Ridden an elephant I swear I have an early childhood memory of doing this at a zoo somewhere, but there seems to be no photographic evidence to support this.

June 8, 2009

a hastily slid in wish

a hastily slid in wish
benigno numine
looked askance at
in the glarier moments of light
ow, lux
this most basic need
dis aliter visum
in particular parameters
would be fine
dante Deo
but it’s not worth admitting

June 1, 2009

Quote of the Day

The production of something, where nothing was before, is an act of greater energy than the expansion or decoration of the thing produced.
—Samuel Johnson