29

It's been a while since I've been this angry; it's giving me the shakes.

28

You're a medium oblique!

27

I hate being the angry person in the room.

26

Too much King cake. No baby.

25

How long do you think that piece of basil has been in my teeth?

24

It's a three buzzard sort of day.

23

I never thought I'd care so much about the opinion of Minnesotans.

For Paschal

one for love, one for laughs, all for war

rock gods, sky gods, gods not too fond of the sea

staving off chaos with

ancestral arrangement

incestual accompaniment

celestial complement

golden feathery locks

eyes of frosted glory

sparkly spandex clinging like the sky to the fjord

drunken optimism

divine honey

mega omega

THUNDERSNOW

22

Ever feel like a dog chasing your tail? Ever wish you were a dog chasing your tail?

21

A combination of busy workweek and unusually cold weather leads to neglect of my home life. Who wants to be productive when you can nap under many blankets?

20

Sudden cold front leaves wind chime carnage on my porch.

19

Sometimes I think lists make life better, and sometimes I think lists are stupid.

18

The universe is telling me to sleep.

17

It occurs to me that my "A Sentence A Day" campaign is just really slow tweeting.

16

Another example of the way social communication is warping my mind: I was momentarily afraid of catching the flu after reading several of my friends' posts.

15

I do believe every picture in my home is hung slightly askew.

14

Using a knife before coffee leads to blood with my breakfast.

13

Why do men like to take pictures of themselves driving their cars?

12

Art teacher says, find your happy medium.

11

It didn’t take her long to find a reason to miss her friend.

10

Guru says, let the universe come to you.

9

Sad is a cold day, a fireplace, and no logs.

8

Apparently, I can only keep a habit for 7 days.

7

All the world is moving and I say goodbye with tacos.

6

After months of Netflix purgatory, she finally dropped “500 Days of Summer” into the mailbox.

5

The Skeletal Flamingos first album will be called “Apocalypto Calypso.”

4

Occasionally, I come up with really good band names: Skeletal Flamingos.

3

Enthusiastic fingers shoved into the cracking dike holding back the waves of their dissatisfaction.

2

I find the fact that there are antacid commercials during “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” to be amusing.

1

On the first day of the year I find myself filled with feelings of exuberance and enthusiasm as if the all the world was filled with possibility and adventure; of course, it could just be the mimosas.