Five Reasons Not to Chase Bears

1. They lose all respect for you

2. (a) You are slower than the bear and, therefore, essentially chasing bear scat

(b) You are the same speed as the bear and, therefore, must commence with bear wrestling

(c) You are faster than the bear and, therefore, bored and the bear petulant

3. Such practices often necessitate the changing of scented products, including but not exclusive to: shampoo, perfume, lotion, and cocktails

4. They are carrion eaters

5. They rarely share

What's the Big Deal?

Doormats of the world and me

forming a quiet unassuming army,

go ahead, wipe your feet,

we’d hate for things to get muddy.

The Last Time

the last time I saw you

was like hooked fish on a sleeping line

a brief thrash in the exhaustion

of the ever present end

and the farther away the days between get

it wasn’t meant to go well

it was just meant to get

the denouement of act III

le entrevue of the next character

doomed forever to the shadow of your timing

lost forever in the oceans of schools

not only not got but certainly not get

not you in the thrash

not you in the unexpected loss

not you in the quiet need to lie

that this certainly couldn’t be

the last time I saw you

Would you like fries with that?

Wearable names,

wash-and-go personalities,

disposable mores

in a drive-thru world,

I’ll take life #5, plain and dry,

fluffed and folded,

branded anew.

Geography

her legs are at a rock concert, but the top of her is at the opera
her stomach’s stuck in the fall of New York
her eyes are swimming countless hours of a childhood summer
her ears are aboard the U.S.S. Dallas
her spine’s just arrived at Whispering Oaks
the back of her head is laying bricks
while her toes taunt evolution
and her left thumb makes a break for it
her first two chakras are lost in the woods making their way to grandma’s
her tongue is busy making pot pies
while her teeth collect dust in a box in Russia (Stalin never being able to believe for sure)
and part of her heart, yes, is in San Francisco

Passage

more

or less we’re bound

to roll down the river

to skate the ice flows

cracking up

our antics unimpressive

but enjoyable

nonetheless

not the less

for the scraped knees

and the bee stings

the hesitations if you will

and determinations

you must see

we must do

whether for or against

the to and fro

the sinister lip

and the rough-hewn jaw

the tears inexplicable

the monologue cliché

still

we must collude once more

our dizzying collisions

appropriate if dire

we must celebrate

we must chance despair

Classifieds

Well-polished nonstandard-sized gilt thumbtack
seeks similarly shiny furniture polish
for good times and conversation,
late-summer solstice rain dances need not apply.

Post-December sun warriors seek employment
with crisply laced herringbone corsets
for mutually beneficial hierarchal repartee
on a contractual basis.

Disavowed potentate desperate to move
reprobate Hottentots of erstwhile trysts
with dames of repute. No offer too low.
Delivery unavailable.

Three-hundred thousand boxed lunches
offered as silent protest to personages
of noisy redistribution. Each comes individually
decorated by chipboard wielding clip artists.

Noisy-headed Swiss-cheese maker
in search of like-minded waltz composer
for collaboration in construing an
effectively convincing dénouement.