Bones of the Sky

29

2011-03-30T20:42:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since I've been this angry; it's giving me the shakes.

28

2011-03-17T12:34:00.001-06:00

You're a medium oblique!

27

2011-03-11T10:53:00.000-06:00

I hate being the angry person in the room.

26

2011-03-08T16:41:00.000-06:00

Too much King cake. No baby.

25

2011-02-28T16:47:00.001-06:00

How long do you think that piece of basil has been in my teeth?

24

2011-02-22T10:21:00.001-06:00

It's a three buzzard sort of day.

23

2011-02-18T13:15:00.002-06:00

I never thought I'd care so much about the opinion of Minnesotans.

For Paschal

2011-02-12T18:50:00.001-06:00

one for love, one for laughs, all for war

rock gods, sky gods, gods not too fond of the sea

staving off chaos with

ancestral arrangement

incestual accompaniment

celestial complement

golden feathery locks

eyes of frosted glory

sparkly spandex clinging like the sky to the fjord

drunken optimism

divine honey

mega omega

THUNDERSNOW

22

2011-02-10T09:55:00.002-06:00

Ever feel like a dog chasing your tail? Ever wish you were a dog chasing your tail?

21

2011-02-03T13:32:00.001-06:00

A combination of busy workweek and unusually cold weather leads to neglect of my home life. Who wants to be productive when you can nap under many blankets?

20

2011-02-01T10:52:00.001-06:00

Sudden cold front leaves wind chime carnage on my porch.

19

2011-01-31T12:59:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I think lists make life better, and sometimes I think lists are stupid.

18

2011-01-28T22:19:00.001-06:00

The universe is telling me to sleep.

17

2011-01-26T11:43:00.000-06:00

It occurs to me that my "A Sentence A Day" campaign is just really slow tweeting.

16

2011-01-24T13:14:00.002-06:00

Another example of the way social communication is warping my mind: I was momentarily afraid of catching the flu after reading several of my friends' posts.

15

2011-01-20T13:02:00.000-06:00

I do believe every picture in my home is hung slightly askew.

14

2011-01-18T11:39:00.001-06:00

Using a knife before coffee leads to blood with my breakfast.

13

2011-01-16T13:09:00.000-06:00

Why do men like to take pictures of themselves driving their cars?

12

2011-01-13T12:44:00.001-06:00

Art teacher says, find your happy medium.

11

2011-01-12T14:44:00.001-06:00

It didn’t take her long to find a reason to miss her friend.

10

2011-01-11T13:42:00.001-06:00

Guru says, let the universe come to you.

9

2011-01-10T10:23:00.000-06:00

Sad is a cold day, a fireplace, and no logs.

8

2011-01-09T11:58:00.000-06:00

Apparently, I can only keep a habit for 7 days.

7

2011-01-07T14:21:00.001-06:00

All the world is moving and I say goodbye with tacos.

6

2011-01-06T11:02:00.001-06:00

After months of Netflix purgatory, she finally dropped “500 Days of Summer” into the mailbox.

5

2011-01-05T14:08:00.000-06:00

The Skeletal Flamingos first album will be called “Apocalypto Calypso.”

4

2011-01-04T10:35:00.001-06:00

Occasionally, I come up with really good band names: Skeletal Flamingos.

3

2011-01-03T23:10:00.001-06:00

Enthusiastic fingers shoved into the cracking dike holding back the waves of their dissatisfaction.

2

2011-01-02T16:52:00.001-06:00

I find the fact that there are antacid commercials during “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” to be amusing.

1

2011-01-01T14:44:00.002-06:00

On the first day of the year I find myself filled with feelings of exuberance and enthusiasm as if the all the world was filled with possibility and adventure; of course, it could just be the mimosas.

A Sentence a Day

2010-12-29T13:27:00.001-06:00

I’m trying out a new thing in 2011. I’m going to write at least one sentence a day on this turtle. I know, I know...it sounds a bit Facebook status-y, but here I can be all artistic and stuff and not have my more literal friends comment “???” directly underneath.

I thought of this a couple of weeks ago but decided to wait until the New Year, because (1) I’m somewhat compulsive that way, and (2) this is a bit of a personal experiment for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about habits lately and I thought starting on January 1 would allow me to track how long I do this and if I am able to truly establish it as a habit.

So...gauntlet thrown down to self! Let’s see if I manage a sentence on Saturday.

This Year's Favorite

2010-12-17T14:54:00.000-06:00

Sci-fi Girl, Vol. 2

2010-11-05T15:10:00.002-06:00

Her arms too filled with concessions

she fails to reach for the lifeline

—Damned slippery resuscitations!—

but finds consolation in her juggling:

when marble is cheap we die for linoleum,

we put our faith in cork,

we carry our idols in our pockets.

She shuffles polite lies and

redistributes her ideals

and reminds herself to

put lotion on her elbows.

Somewhere in her inside jacket pocket,

—near to her heart—

is a pocket knife

scratched by derisiveness,

chipped by disappointment,

and honed by a large sense of patience.

She wishes she could hold it in her hand

just at that moment

and feel the weight of it.

After all, absence makes the lines go skew.

Sci-fi Girl, Vol. 1

2010-10-15T12:19:00.000-06:00

Sci-fi girl in a world of Neanderthals

admits to being hampered,

if only slightly, by fluctuations

in the space/time continuum.

Still, it’s the technology that counts!

16 gigs of music to their chink-chink

of hammer on stone, on wood,

on water (for reasons inexplicable),

and on thickly-browed skull bone.

So what if she’s swamp adjacent?

She comforts herself by opening

and closing the arms

of her Swiss army knife:

finely-honed edge,

digitally-scaled plane,

corkscrew...

Home is where your hinged

mechanism is oiled, isn’t it?

Rope

2010-09-24T10:39:00.000-06:00

making rope

a triangular compromise

a no red so go blue

not a no go

a gone too soon

and so many days

to turn again

to twine tomorrow

and then

and thereafter

again and another

time gone round

turned out

for the practical considerations

of rope

Early Morning Thieves

2010-07-27T10:57:00.000-06:00

Early morning thieves steal forth from Lockerbie

enticed by rumored mermaids to the east.

Their quiet passage briefly noted in the air

by the former lighthouse keeper,

too old to have anyone to warn.

His morning mug full of the squall

and tempests of yesteryear,

his heart stowing away in the knapsack

of the shortest roustabout.

He gathered no respect from his fellows

for his arm, nor for his steady countenance,

but for the unlikely sweetness of his singing voice.

The second eldest had even been known to note

the sway of his true love’s hips at the sound

of the demur one’s refashioned canticle.

Her heart, though, cannot be deterred

from its original path by some wayward beat.

She weeps into her laundry and sincerely

decries mermaids, merchants, and mercurial moods.

The leader of the expedition is unburdened

by such distractions. His knees bend only

for treasures, his eyes glint only

for the gleam of jewels and doubloons.

He is a veritable thieve, whilst the others

are at best humble connivers.

He cares not for lighthouse keepers,

lonely songs, or lovers, or even

lost mermaids, only the plunder

that might be had from such endeavors.

So the morning moves into day.

badges

2010-07-08T10:03:00.000-06:00

teaching little girls

to weave nooses

eat bugs

and carve totems

for future negotiation survival

gotcha right here in my pocket

my little survival list

for hurricanes

cold fronts

nonstandard-sized galoshes

and ill-timed invasions

(seriously? June?)

three fingers to the gods

“I will not capitulate

I will not perpetuate,

I will not allow less

than glossy-manual

goodness.”

please-thank you

badges

Five Reasons Not to Chase Bears

2010-05-27T11:06:00.002-06:00

1. They lose all respect for you

2. (a) You are slower than the bear and, therefore, essentially chasing bear scat

(b) You are the same speed as the bear and, therefore, must commence with bear wrestling

3. Such practices often necessitate the changing of scented products, including but not exclusive to: shampoo, perfume, lotion, and cocktails

4. They are carrion eaters

5. They rarely share

What's the Big Deal?

2010-05-12T12:31:00.000-06:00

Doormats of the world and me

forming a quiet unassuming army,

go ahead, wipe your feet,

we’d hate for things to get muddy.

The Last Time

2010-04-26T13:29:00.000-06:00

the last time I saw you

was like hooked fish on a sleeping line

a brief thrash in the exhaustion

of the ever present end

and the farther away the days between get

it wasn’t meant to go well

it was just meant to get

the denouement of act III

le entrevue of the next character

doomed forever to the shadow of your timing

lost forever in the oceans of schools

not only not got but certainly not get

not you in the thrash

not you in the unexpected loss

not you in the quiet need to lie

that this certainly couldn’t be

the last time I saw you

Would you like fries with that?

2010-03-29T13:49:00.000-06:00

Wearable names,

wash-and-go personalities,

disposable mores

in a drive-thru world,

I’ll take life #5, plain and dry,

fluffed and folded,

branded anew.

Geography

2010-03-03T21:01:00.003-06:00

her legs are at a rock concert, but the top of her is at the opera
her stomach’s stuck in the fall of New York
her eyes are swimming countless hours of a childhood summer
her ears are aboard the U.S.S. Dallas
her spine’s just arrived at Whispering Oaks
the back of her head is laying bricks
while her toes taunt evolution
and her left thumb makes a break for it
her first two chakras are lost in the woods making their way to grandma’s
her tongue is busy making pot pies
while her teeth collect dust in a box in Russia (Stalin never being able to believe for sure)
and part of her heart, yes, is in San Francisco

Passage

2010-02-16T15:14:00.002-06:00

or less we’re bound

to roll down the river

to skate the ice flows

cracking up

our antics unimpressive

but enjoyable

nonetheless

not the less

for the scraped knees

and the bee stings

the hesitations if you will

and determinations

you must see

we must do

whether for or against

the to and fro

the sinister lip

and the rough-hewn jaw

the tears inexplicable

the monologue cliché

still

we must collude once more

our dizzying collisions

appropriate if dire

we must celebrate

we must chance despair

Classifieds

2010-02-03T14:15:00.001-06:00

Well-polished nonstandard-sized gilt thumbtack
seeks similarly shiny furniture polish
for good times and conversation,
late-summer solstice rain dances need not apply.

Post-December sun warriors seek employment
with crisply laced herringbone corsets
for mutually beneficial hierarchal repartee
on a contractual basis.

Disavowed potentate desperate to move
reprobate Hottentots of erstwhile trysts
with dames of repute. No offer too low.
Delivery unavailable.

Three-hundred thousand boxed lunches
offered as silent protest to personages
of noisy redistribution. Each comes individually
decorated by chipboard wielding clip artists.

Noisy-headed Swiss-cheese maker
in search of like-minded waltz composer
for collaboration in construing an
effectively convincing dénouement.

The Sacred Umbrella

2010-01-04T16:30:00.002-06:00

Each finger stings, cracked by the pushing and pulling
of quills shaken free from Rothschild’s porcupine
in the crisply verdant world to the south of south.
In and out, dying red the laces of spun perle cotton,
grown in the desert heat for fortitude against doubt,
binding eight panels of silk from the inhabitants of
the emperor’s private white mulberry trees gathered
from his tea by his long-fingered sly-smiled geishas.
The erstwhile queen, herself, donates her passé
farthingale stays as ribs for the canopy.
Gently attached by notched baleen, discovered by
Yankee whalers lost in the vagaries of time,
to the shaft, hand-carved from the eminent posts
of ash trees blown asunder by unseasonable tsunamis.
Waxed for the elements using the personal hives
of the blind Swiss scientist Francois Huber,
lacquered for the laity with the whispered secrets of the Orient,
blessed as beautiful by the Voodoo priest and his golden Christ
and the asylum escapees bobbing their heads
yes, yes, yes, not since big blue-skyed Nut herself, yes

So is borne, the sacred umbrella.

Christmas Tag

2009-12-10T11:17:00.002-06:00

1. What is your Favorite Christmas Movie?
“Her Majesty’s Secret Service”

2. What is your Least favorite Christmas Movie
“It’s a Wonderful Life” (That’s right. That’s what I said.)

3. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Sting’s version of “I Saw Three Ships” is currently my favorite.

4. What Christmas song(s) drives you crazy?
Okay, for some reason, everywhere I go this year they are playing “Little Saint Nick” by the Beach Boys and it is starting to get to me.

5. What is your favorite Christmas drink? (e.g., egg nog, hot chocolate)
Mimosas

6. What is your favorite Christmas memory?
I’m not sure I have just one…but the Denver Christmas where everyone was there and we were all tripping over cousins and I got to experience real snow and we were overwhelmed with good food…that was a good one…

7. What is the best toy/gift you've received on Christmas?
Hmmmm…my doll house was pretty neat…I had the bike Christmas…then there was the iPod Touch I got last year…

8. What is the worst toy/gift you've received on Christmas?
I got a purse from a well-meaning aunt during my least girly-girl phase. Of course, now, if she would like to buy me a purse…

9. What do you LOVE about the holidays?
I like how the most random people just say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to you as you go about your normal routine. During the times when we would normally just ignore each other, in December you start chatting and wishing each other well.

10. What annoys you about the holidays?
People who automatically assume the holidays are going to be a huge burden and consequently miss all the fun.

11. Do you prefer star or angel on top of a Christmas tree? Or something else?
I have a really pretty star for the top of my tree.

12. What is your family favorite recipe at Christmas?
Pecan tasties

13. Are you a Grinch or a Who at Christmastime?
I’m a Who, socks and all.

14. Christmas light displays—love them or hate them?
The more ridiculous the better

15. Santa's at the mall—fun times or creepy?
Okay, I admit it, I’m a little scared of the mall Santa.

16. Christmas cards—do you send them, yes or no?
Yes

17. What is the best thing about Christmas, in your opinion?
The family getting together and showering each other with attention.

18. What is the worst thing about Christmas?
This year: snarky Target commercials.

19. When do you put the tree up and take it down?
I think I’m going to skip the tree this year because I’m not sure where it will fit in my little apartment, but I know the big tree is waiting for me at Mom’s.

20. Out of the 12 Days of Christmas, which day and item would you want your truelove to give to you?
Hello? Five golden rings!

21. Why do you think that Grandma got run over by a reindeer?
A little too much nog in her egg.

22. Who is your favorite reindeer?
Blitzen: the German reindeer

23. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Yep, and I’ve been very very good.

24. What is your favorite smell at Christmas time?
Whatever’s cooking in my Mom’s kitchen.

25. What would make you happy at Christmas this year?
Everybody happy and healthy at home.

Thanks

2009-11-24T14:23:00.003-06:00

I don’t believe Christmas carols should be played until December. Perhaps I’m in the minority, but that’s just how I feel. I, of course, cannot avoid them if I wish to purchase anything between now and December 1. I’ve decided the problem is that there is no traditional Thanksgiving music so I, in my pre-vacation goof-offing-ness, have begun the first annual Thanksgiving Mix: A Mix to Eat Too Much By.

Thank U Alanis Morissette
These Are Days 10,000 Maniacs
Come Together Macy Gray
Gimme Some Lovin’ The Spencer Davis Group
All About Our Love Sade
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) Green Day
Glad You’re Here Macy Gray, featuring Fergie
Thankyou The Creatures

Didn’t make it, but honorable mentions:
All Tomorrow’s Parties The Velvet Underground
Drama L7
Fly Sugar Ray

Mosquitoes and Other Things That Start With M

2009-11-18T16:49:00.005-06:00

I got the format from Murat, who borrowed it from someone else. So it goes.

Consumed with: Melancholy. (Dramatic, I know.) Perhaps I should say, “Consumed by melancholy.” I’m trying very hard to just cheer up already. I try new things, I work on good habits, I treat myself, I talk to loved ones, I actualize positive processes to facilitate growth and communication…but…Melancholy consumes me in the way that mosquitoes consume people. I’m laid back, sipping my beer on the porch of life when damn it if there isn’t a high-pitched buzzing in my ear. There it is again, that melancholy stinging briefly and ruining the moment, and then leaving itchy little welts to ruin the upcoming moments. I’m trying really hard to get on with it already, but melancholy is just brushed away briefly before coming back to bug me some more.

Hoping for: A lightening bolt of inspiration. No? How about a strong breeze of encouragement?

Listening to: Beck’s “Think I’m In Love” What if it’s wrong? What if it’s wrong to play the game?

Enjoying: My guitar. Among my “trying new things” has been “teach myself guitar.” I like it. I only know how to play a chromatic scale and three chords so far, but I like playing them. Trying to play an insanely simplified three-chord version of “Leaving on a Jet Plane” has been like mosquito repellent (to keep the metaphor going).

Just finished reading: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I enjoy Brown’s books for what they are: paperback thrillers. Unnecessary sex and violence while discussing art trivia? Yes please. People who take his books too seriously should go look up the word “fiction.” (Then they should read Dr. No by Ian Fleming.) Like The Da Vinci Code, this book is over the top and cliff-hangery and I enjoyed it like a rerun of “The A-Team.”

Watching: “The Prisoner” Actually, I just finished watching the remake but I’m still thinking about it, which is always the sign of a good show. My Dad introduced me to the original series through reruns on one of his thousands of cable channels. It’s surreal and vaguely creepy stuff, but entertaining for unidentifiable reasons. I suppose because you have to interpret so much of the lunacy without spoon-fed explanations that you get out of the Village what you take in. In my opinion, the remake lived up to its predecessor, thanks mostly to Ian McKellen who was clearly enjoying himself as Number Two. Favorite quote, “That’s unusually deep for a Thursday.”

Wishing for: A winning lottery ticket—even a metaphorical one would do.

Bee Keeping

2009-11-11T23:13:00.005-06:00

If you have decided to try your hand at bee keeping, please consider the following:

Keep your bee with perspective. His is a working class, after all. A yellow-and-black collared class that finds its bread in routine, its opiate in tradition. It’s the doing, day in and out, that interests him. To try and persuade him to your undoings will result in an uncomfortable silence between the two of you.

Keep your bee with precision. He is a creature of order, of sequence, of simple geometry. He does not crave higher mathematics so do not waste his time with imaginary numbers and impractical theorems. He is clockwork unburdened by cogs and springs.

Keep your bee with timing. Something smooth and sequential for the comings and goings and one’s and two’s of a day. A nice three-four waltz is charming for all seasons. Nothing too modern is necessary, nothing too formal is desired.

Keep your bee with sagacity. Professions with elaborate hats can lead to inanity and regular usage of smokers can cause abandonment of propriety in inappropriate moments. Curb any lack of inhibition post haste or else risk losing face with the bee.

Keep your bee with peace. He is not cunning nor knows the way of war. He will sacrifice himself, fodder in some incomprehensible confrontation, if he is met with hostility.

Keep your bee with faith. He knows he can fly. You should just trust that he can, too, despite physics and whatnot.

Keep your bee with family. His nature is to nurture. Blood is thicker than water and honey thicker still.

Thanks. Much.

2009-09-23T14:49:00.003-06:00

Semicolon on the mass-transit bus:
a working man’s punctuation.
Night-shift in the logic of proofs?
Moonlighting in scientific notation?
No, no, just a little instructional clarification.
Throw your trash away; bins have been provided.

Sock Monkey Days

2009-09-14T08:31:00.001-06:00

She sat
12 minutes into work
hungry for sock monkey days
homesick for milky teas
and excesses of blankets
and musty stacks of paper
losing their bindings to the woes of time
she sat
13 minutes into reality
but awash in Xanadus
constructed of rain and tent forts
and erstwhile memories
of small-fingered ways

But I like turtles!

2009-09-07T20:54:00.001-06:00

A while ago I started this turtle with the big goal of “Write something. Anything.” If the smatterings of randomness that I’ve posted have proved anything, it’s that I’ve met that particular goal. Now, I’ve got a new goal and a new—I’ll just say it—blog. Because it’s going to be a blog. It’s going to be one of those bloggy blogs that people write. It’s not going to be called a turtle and feature the erstwhile adventures of ravens and/or random musical postings. It’s going to have a clear, organized point. God-of-your-choosing help me, it’s a blog. Sigh.

For continued nonsense see Bones. For bloggy blogness, see Anne Evolves.

It promises to be somewhat focused writing. We’ll see how long this experiment lasts.

Damn

2009-08-26T09:16:00.001-06:00

keeps

2009-08-24T08:58:00.002-06:00

the lie keeps
close to the chest
warm and wet
unrealized
in its simplicity
the complicities
of the implications
have no place
interwoven between
hand on hand on
skin on bone
on lie
close to the chest

'tween

2009-08-18T09:24:00.001-06:00

‘tween
book pages
and cold smooth stones
and nevermores
and mores again
she falters
if just briefly
sun flickering out
behind the stained glass
and once this was
and twice this goes
and three for the money
and blinks back on
neon crowned cross
because that’s how we roll
tithe
bleed
ingest
go

Stickers

2009-08-10T15:27:00.001-06:00

Stefanie started sticking stickers.
She started in Steubenville
and stuck to it till Strasenburgh
—where she stopped briefly for strudel—
but started sticking stuff again
with a stupefying amount of stickers.
Her stick-to-itiveness was quite stupendous.
Standing by, students were struck,
even stirred, as she strode and stuck
on steps and on Studebakers,
on stirrups and on street signs,
on sticks and on stenographers,
on steam trunks and on sturgeons,
on straps and on strobe lights,
on stencils and on starlets’ staffers,
on stilts and on startled state troopers,
Stefanie strove forward,
sticking her stickers on whole stacks of stuff,
until, strength gone, she stuttered, “This is stupid,”
and stopped.

The Logic of Decision Making

2009-08-04T09:40:00.001-06:00

Given
1) This will feel good
2) This will hurt me
3) This will lead to effect 1B/positive
4) This will adversely hinder otherwise folks than me
5) This is, in effect, the same as (6)
6) This is, in effect, the same as (5)
Then
One coin
78 cards
Two distinct lifelines
Three shoes (unrelated)
And one jalapeño burning on Mrs. Argawal’s stove
Result
That’s how it goes

this particular ghost

2009-07-21T13:54:00.001-06:00

she’s planning when
she should forfeit this particular ghost
broken lines on the upper hand
and spooky Tarot card readings
trump binary logic
and PhD machinations
any day (now)
Casper put aside
she resigns herself to country music
and condescending stares from behind the pearls
See you on the flipside,
I’ve got a moon to shoot.

Wooo! Ahwoooooooooo

2009-07-12T11:57:00.002-06:00

Create a setting:
two years revisited
My life was interesting when…
sleepless yearnings caused daytime delusions
On my summer vacation I…
kept wakeful considerations as pets
I like it when…
retrospective retroaction remains unresponsive
Clap your hands if you…
are currently experiencing déjà vu and are gonna do it again
Describe a character in one sentence:
Referring to previous obligations obliquely, she coquetted her way out of another fine mess.

Ahwooooooooooooo

2009-07-09T21:53:00.002-06:00

waking up with want
—tattoo, puppy, tea—
erstwhile ravens
succeeded by werewolves
—no, no, no, I love geckos, really—
it’s all the scar tissue
it’s makes me feel
less broken

smudged maybe

—and tacos—

still a little more option b

A Moment from Paris

2009-07-02T12:28:00.001-06:00

What I lack in skill, I make up in enthusiasm. Or, I just make up.

2009-06-30T13:51:00.000-06:00

I’m back from my travels in gay Paris. It was a tremendously wonderful experience that is almost too much for words. I literally started to cry at points in the journey I was so full of happiness. My 30th birthday exceeded all my expectations.

Neither my mother nor I speak French. We picked up a few key words and phrases, but mostly we relied and the French and their knowledge of English. The natives we met seemed to me to be a delightful and friendly people who were pleasantly amused by us and our haphazard forays into their language. My vocabulary of French mostly consists of exclamations which, as my mother realized in an elevator in Paris, come from one source.

Bon jour, mes amis!

The Nearly 100

2009-06-15T09:27:00.009-06:00

San posted this one over at her turtle. It’s ridiculously long, but I’ve got five days till my Paris vacation and I’m suffering from major goof-off-itis. If you have participated in one of the following 100 things, bold it. (I should point out that the list of 100 was short three when I copy-and-pasted so I made some up to get the true one hundred.)

1. Started my own blog Apparently so.

2. Slept under the stars And thought at the time, this will be a poignant memory at some point in my future. (Check.)

3. Played in a band No, though I still have dreams…

4. Visited Hawaii Pretty much all it’s cracked up to be.

5. Watched a meteor shower And made some wishes.

6. Given more than I can afford to charity Almost habitually. I am my mother's daughter.

7. Been to Disneyland/world Still need to get to the one in Florida.

8. Climbed a mountain I did go up one of the Mt. Franklin hiking trails, but it didn’t go all the way to the top.

9. Held a praying mantis No, are you insane?!

10. Sung a solo No, but I’ve sung many the duet in my car.

11. Bungee jumped No, again with the insanity?!

12. Visited Paris Once, for my 17th birthday, and I will be returning soon for my 30th.

13. Watched lightning at sea No, but I’ve seen heat lightening in the desert which I’m betting is at least as cool.

14. Taught myself an art from scratch If you count scrapbooking and you would if you could see my scrapbooks.

15. Adopted a child No, but I’ve bowled for kids’ sake (Big Brothers, Big Sisters fundraiser).

16. Had food poisoning Yes. Hardcore, wish-I-were-dead, couldn’t eat for two weeks, after that could only eat plain tortillas for a month, got it from seafood food poisoning. Don’t recommend it.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty Haven’t even seen her in person.

18. Grown my own vegetables Unless you count bean sprouts for a grade school science project.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France Yes, she refused to come to Texas.

20. Slept on an overnight train From Rome to Paris.

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitchhiked No, though I’ve bummed a few rides off of friends.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill Sha–you think?

24. Built a snow fort No, but I’ve built many a couch-cushion-sheet fort.

25. Held a lamb No, smelly.

26. Gone skinny dipping Jumped a fence to go skinny dipping.

27. Run a marathon “In the time it takes to run a marathon I could have a dinner party and a glass of wine.”—Kate Mulgrew

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice While being serenaded in Italian.

29. Seen a total eclipse Both moon and sun.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset Yes, though the sunrises have always been under duress.

31. Hit a home run I think I might have kicked one once in kickball.

32. Been on a cruise One to Cozumel and one to Alaska. I highly recommend the one to Alaska.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught myself a new language No, but the cursing is self-taught.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied I probably have but I’ve never believed it.

38. Filled out a meme that claimed to be a list of a 100 but wasn’t really because they left out 38, 39, and 90

39. Been sarcastic

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David And seen the David’s Herald Johnson

41. Sung karaoke Once. At a small private party. Possibly drinking. I don’t want to talk about it.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt Right on time.

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant No, but I’ve had one buy me a meal. Though, honestly, by that time we were becoming fast friends.

44. Visited Africa No, but I’m willing.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight More than once, but I think Miami Beach was most memorable.

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had my portrait painted Kind of. I painted a watercolor self-portrait in my high school art class.

48. Gone deep sea fishing No, but I’ve gone night club trawling.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person A. Maze. Ing.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris Well, I got to the halfway point. Then the wind started to blow. Were you aware that the entire Tower moves in the wind? I had a panic attack and came down quickly. I did make it to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. Apparently, alcohol is a big help.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling Snorkeled in Hawaii.

52. Kissed in the rain No, sigh.

53. Played in the mud I’ll have you know I was a mud pie master chef.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater There was a working one outside of El Paso for quite some time, though I’m not sure it’s still there. I remember my Dad taking us and him hooking the speaker on the car door, but that’s about it.

55. Been in a movie Unless you count home videos.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China No, but I’m willing.

57. Started a business Oh, I’ve started some business...

58. Taken a martial arts class I got to orange belt in karate. One of the bravest things I ever did. Kind of wish I had stuck with it.

59. Visited Russia No, but I went to the Little Russia Gift Shoppe in Skagway, Alaska and had a ball.

60. Served at a soup kitchen Kind of. I prepared meals for a meals-on-wheels program.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies Yes, door-to-door. One of the other bravest things I’ve ever done.

62. Gone whale watching Yes, outside of Juneau. Totally worth it just for hearing 40 adults go “oooohhhh” in unison like little kids.

63. Got flowers for no reason Like, I was walking through the HEB flower department and thought, “Those look nice. I think I’ll get some of those.”? No? Sigh.

64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma Donated blood two times. Passed out two times. Have been disinclined to participate since.

65. Gone sky diving See #50.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check No, but only because I took my mother’s sage council and got overdraft protection

68. Flown in a helicopter No, but I think I want to.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy Ha. Ha ha. Yes. Just a few…shelves. I never stopped getting them.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar But I prefer escargot.

72. Pieced a quilt No, but I hand stitched a butterfly in the Girl Scouts.

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades But I been down to the bayou.

75. Been fired from a job Does the college newspaper count? It feels like it should count.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London Sort of. From across the street, over a large crowd of heads, if I jumped.

77. Broken a bone Fractured a wrist and pulled a couple ribs.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle No, but I’ve ridden in a speeding dune buggy driven by a one armed man who was drinking a beer.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person A. Maze. Ing.

80. Published a book I have several assessment related volumes to my name. Working on the personal stuff.

81. Visited the Vatican Wow. Big. Like big big.

82. Bought a brand new car No, though my father let me say I did while he did the, you know, purchasing.

83. Walked in Jerusalem No, but I vomited in Las Vegas and then went back to dancing.

84. Had my picture in the newspaper Academic Decathlon champions. Oh yeah.

85. Read the entire Bible No, but I like that tower of Babylon bit.

86. Visited the White House No. When we were in Washington, D.C. we couldn’t go on the tour for some reason (renovations or something) and it seemed quite disappointing. However, the next day, they got us up at dawn (see 30.) so we would be the first in line at the Washington Monument. It's 5:30 in the morning, we’re about to get off the bus when someone yelled, “Look it’s the President, he’s jogging by.” No kidding! We piled out of the bus. Bill Clinton stopped, shook hands, posed for photos, and went jogging on his way. So, I let the White House thing go.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating Not the same animal, no. Unless you count mussels.

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life Not that I’m aware of.

90. Been to Graceland (I made up my own because, again, the list was lacking.) No, but I wanna. I really really wanna.

91. Met someone famous See 86.

92. Joined a book club No, but not for lack of trying.

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby No, but I’ve been accused of having a cow more than once.

95. Seen the Alamo in person I’ve made out in front of the Alamo. (For anyone reading this who hasn’t seen the Alamo, it’s smack dab in the middle of downtown SA near some of the bigger party bars and clubs so this isn’t as shocking as it might seem. Really. It was only kind of in bad taste.)

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake Not really, but I went and stuck two fingers in just for this type of question.

97. Been involved in a law suit I’ve been a member of a jury.

98. Owned a cell phone It’s 2009 and I’m an American.

99. Been stung by a bee No, but I been the victim of a couple wasps.

100. Ridden an elephant I swear I have an early childhood memory of doing this at a zoo somewhere, but there seems to be no photographic evidence to support this.

a hastily slid in wish

2009-06-08T15:34:00.001-06:00

a hastily slid in wish
benigno numine
looked askance at
in the glarier moments of light
ow, lux
this most basic need
dis aliter visum
in particular parameters
would be fine
dante Deo
but it’s not worth admitting

Quote of the Day

2009-06-01T08:51:00.000-06:00

The production of something, where nothing was before, is an act of greater energy than the expansion or decoration of the thing produced.
—Samuel Johnson

"all the words that got in the way"

2009-05-17T22:53:00.000-06:00

Love’s just another mix on the iPod
unabashedly listening to other’s odes to you
opening myself up to one more (and one more) heartache
because two tracks later we’ll be in love again
whoever you may be
I’m sure you’ll like dancing to this next one

Poetry’s just another way to kill time
another scribble in the margin
near infinity but above the hash marks and flowers
maybe Shakespeare was no good
at drawing roses either

Happiness is just a stomachache
and why aren’t you in bed already
you should be more responsible
tomorrow’s Monday
and what was I saying

2009-05-17T22:26:00.000-06:00

Alice

2009-04-29T09:25:00.002-06:00

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?

NIOSA

2009-04-22T21:57:00.001-06:00

One puffy taco
One egg roll
One postcard
One medal
One chicken dance
Two cumbias
Two margaritas
Two sangrias
Three beignets
A whole lot of confetti
(in the air, in my hair, in my drink)
But that’s it. I have to work tomorrow.

passing

2009-04-15T15:58:00.000-06:00

indomitable woman
fourteen and talking to God
your shield: cloth
your weapon: voice
your citadel: the linked arms of the women around you
the indomitable women
marching into their daily war,
their afternoon battle,
their nightly siege
their ever encounter
your steady stance
of heart-born knowledge:
that wasn’t all you were going to be

A Game of Tag

2009-04-08T13:14:00.002-06:00

The latest game of tag by way of Murat11 from the lands of a few other turtles. Answer all the questions, except one that you don’t like. Replace the unloved question with a new one of your own. Then, add a new question.

What is your obsession at the moment?
Paris, France. Come June 22, little lost in the world me will be 30. I’m mostly all empowered about it, with an occasional bout of, “Oh come on, really?!” I figured nothing less than fabulousness is called for to celebrate such a moment. So, Mom and I are planning a jaunt to Paris. Where to stay? What to do? What will it cost? Apparently the difference between visiting Paris now and visiting Paris at 17 is an awareness of logistics.

What are you not wearing at the moment?
A tiara, though I could totally rock it out if I were.

Do you nap regularly?
I get home from work just in time to watch the nightly news with Brian Williams. Perhaps it’s his dulcet tones, or the comfy factor of my couch, but I’ve developed the habit of falling asleep about halfway through the national news and waking right at the beginning of the local.

What’s your theme song?
“Everybody” by Macy Gray

What do you want to change?
The mood at work. It’s so tense right now.

What are you going to have for dinner?
Lemon-thyme zucchini and goat cheese pizza. It’s a Weight Watchers recipe and is perfect for spring.

Your last purchase?
Bananas and Easter candy

What are you listening to at the moment?
“Migra” by Santana

Favorite weather?
Sunny and warm enough for short-sleeves but cool enough for porch sitting

Your goals?
Surviving and thriving

Say something to the person who tagged you:
Hey Murat, tell the missus that the Son of Pears has happily embraced Home Comforts this year with a check, a drive, and now there’s talk of a bake sale. Her candle continues to burn.

Favorite vacation location?
Right now, Paris. Though I love to go and see, so anywhere and everywhere.

Films you can watch over and over again:
The James Bonds, the Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, the Matrices, the Pirates of the Caribbeans, the Wallace and Grommets, the Hellboys, the X-Men, the Batmans…

What movie(s) will you never see again?
A.I., Eye of the Beholder, Transformers, Babylon A.D…Okay, actually I might watch that again even though it was a suckfest. What can I say, I like bubblegum movies. Sometimes I’m entranced by the sheer awfulness.

Favorite tea?
I was going to name something fancy here, but honestly I’m happy with my mug of green tea with lemon.

Book you are currently reading?
“First Among Sequels” by Jasper Fforde

What do you want to do one day?
Buy a house. Funny, that’s the first thing that came to mind.

Which quality would you like to have?
Published

Name one of your qualities:
Clever

What are you waiting for?
I ask myself that all the time. I currently have found no satisfying answer.

Which old-fashioned trend do you hope will soon return?
Hats. Let’s all wear more hats.

One song you're embarrassed to admit to liking:
“Womanizer” by Britney Spears. I give her studio team credit for making a catchy dance number.

Milkshake or crème brulee?
Milkshake

The Nose Knows

2009-04-04T21:15:00.001-06:00

Thank God for minor tragedies,
how else to lubricate the sinuses
through the varying fluctuations
in barometric pressure.
Married men and allergies
and a nose bestowed by Poland,
I should have invested in Kleenex
and not in that new outfit.
It must have been a sign
when I smelled a skunk beforehand,
but now I’m simply stuffed with
snotty implications.

Impressions From a Mixer

2009-03-26T15:45:00.001-06:00

Talking liquidly
a ghost bumps my shoulder
and a bit of my heart spills onto my blouse
—damn, that’ll stain.

Where to wander in a room
full of women with no last names
and men with two first?
Who to talk to when every stranger
is a card away from being a friend?
What to do when you don’t know
how to naturally mix at a Kaizen event?

Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you, this evening,
for participating, tonight, in this
opportunity, post-workday, for
outwardly mobile social dialogue.

Sharply narrowed,
tautly curved,
crisply pressed,
rattlesnake printed,
diamond-studded
—what’s the point?

The Unexpected Me

2009-03-21T22:23:00.002-06:00

Early morning acidic sarcasm.
Late afternoon childish diplomacy.
Sentimental tears post-midnight.

Three Blink CDs in storage,
Invitation to business mixer by email.
Mala beads on the bedside table.

Discarded pariah,
Aching surveyor,
Emerging caretaker.

Documented,
Considered,
but still,
Where’d you come from?

Bluebird, what do you feed on?

2009-03-17T22:20:00.002-06:00

by Carl Sandburg

Bluebird, what do you feed on?
It is true you gobble up worms, you
swallow bugs,
And your bill picks up corn, seed,
berries.
This is only part of the answer.
Your feathers have captured a piece of
smooth sky.
Your wings are burnished with
lake-morning blue.
It is not a worm blue nor a bug
blue nor the blue
Of corn or berry you shine with.
Bluebird, we come to you for facts,
for valuable
Information, for secret reports.
Bluebird, tell us, what do you
feed on?

Please Keep This Between Us

2009-03-10T15:10:00.001-06:00

dark inklings
itching round
the corner of the eye
near the bridge
of the nose
exhaled outward
hmmmmmm
characters carousing
with very little wordplay
and I kinda figured
but didn't really
need to know

How to Care For a Blue-Footed Booby

2009-03-01T14:46:00.004-06:00

First, know your limits. Is your pocketbook generous, your heart strong, your patience spectacular, and your knowledge of caviar replete? And how do you do with sharp beaks?

Accustomed to the clime of sandy coastal regions, the blue-footed booby flock to seaside resorts, summer regattas, and floating casinos. They respond well to praise, air kisses, and champagne toasts.

The blue-footed booby once had dreams of performing in the Russian ballet, web toes tripping lightly across the boards to such acclaim that swans would never be allowed near the lake again. Now they settle for summer stock and television hosting, with the occasional color commentary gig. You must support these endeavors with love, kindness, and multiple head-shots if you wish to keep your booby pleasantly inclined.

Traditionally of the B’Nai faith, younger blue-foots have become increasingly drawn toward Shamic Islam. This is merely for you own understanding of your booby; under no circumstances should you question a booby’s faith as they are apt to become stubborn and contrary.

When your booby throws its inevitable tantrums, let it sigh loudly and collapse against at least four pieces of furniture before trying to fetch your booby around with soft cooing noises and spa certificates.

The traditional attendant of sommeliers, blue-footed boobies make excellent companions to vineyard owners, bottlers, cork farmers, or anyone who enjoys drinking large quantities of wine. Should you form a rapport with your blue-foot you can expect years of witty conversations over crudités and soft embraces at sunset.

Popular names for blue-footed boobys include decapitated royalty, disgraced Olympians, and rock star widows.

Enjoy your new-found friend!

The Only Car I Drive

2009-02-25T23:26:00.002-06:00

"UB Jesus" from David Byrne's Look Into the Eyeball

In celebration of those of you who do that Lent thing and those of us in our 40 days post White Tantric meditations.

Why, yes...

2009-02-19T09:33:00.002-06:00

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.
You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Happy

2009-02-03T17:02:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, in the momentary excitement of something I had previously struggled with suddenly working, I decided to keep an “Unexpected Joy” list. In my brief euphoria, I told myself that I should spend as much time appreciating the unexpected pleasures as I do bitching about the unexpected troubles. I should focus on the setfronts of life rather than the setbacks.
A minute after typing, “I entered my timesheet in the new system on the first try,” the new system crashed and I lost my timesheet. I redid it four times that morning and summarily deleted my Unexpected Joy list.
I’m so trying to have a good attitude. I can hear myself faking it in conversations, hoping I’ll make it stick internally. I can hear myself telling all my friends the right things in terms of their attitudes (a recent JSD post comes to mind), and then wishing I would listen to myself. I’m doing my best really. It’s just the stupid timesheet system didn’t work again!
This morning I saw a link “What is Happiness Anyway” and clicked. Apparently the universe thought I needed a little help in the attitude readjustment zone. You’ll see I have a new link called The Happiness Project. I recommend you check it out. It’s written by a woman with a good attitude and that’s always a good thing.

Happy New Year

2009-01-26T15:22:00.003-06:00

The element of Earth and the sign of steady and reliable Ox are like having a no-nonsense drill sergeant move into your house. Sensitive, emotional, and sentimental Goats will be challenged to be more practical and disciplined. Nursing little fears or obsessive thoughts will take second place to addressing practical realities. This year, you will be the strong one. It is a lucky time to find your heart’s home. Although you place great emphasis on the joys and responsibilities of family life, do not hesitate to move in more independent directions.

Oh, to be a goat in such times...

Guest Speaker

2009-01-20T13:31:00.001-06:00

President Barack Obama:

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. "

Meditation on an Office Supply

2009-01-15T13:54:00.000-06:00

the year laid out before me
a comforting thickness on the desk of eternity
boxed little days filled
with exquisite pale blue hours
at the dentist on the 23rd
father’s birthday three rows up
reborn three pages later
quickly amassing times, dates,
indications of places
quickly passing holidays,
deadlines, and forget-me-nots
love notes for a schedule defined,
categorized,
marked
to impact
to count
to last
12 pages long

It’s Not a Love Song

2009-01-08T16:36:00.001-06:00

Influx Transposer’s last post made me think of Maria Taylor's "Song Beneath the Song", then it was stuck in my head, and then I found it on You Tube….so there you go.

In the Cards

2009-01-06T12:28:00.001-06:00

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2009

2009-01-01T15:23:00.001-06:00

I was just talking to a friend on the phone and she read me the resolutions she wrote for herself last night. Rather than, “exercise more” and “pay off debt” type of resolutions she had big ideals written out succinctly to go towards the ultimate goal of being a better person. My favorite one of hers was, “Graciously accept the graciousness of others.” I’m going to do that too. I like her style of resolutions so in that spirit, for 2009, I’m going to

Appreciate

Appreciate who I am, the people I know, all that I have, and all the adventures life throws at my oh-so carefully laid plans.

(I’m also going to exercise more and pay off debt.)

Happy 2009

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2008-12-23T14:34:00.004-06:00

Every year there is usually one Christmas song that kind of sticks with me. This year it’s “Happy Christmas,” originally by John Lennon, but I like Sarah McLachlan’s take on it too. It’s fairly bittersweet as Christmas carols go—that crazy John Lennon and his messages to the people—but that suits my mood right now.

Maybe because of the state of the world at the moment, maybe because friends and family are far away, maybe because weather in San Antonio is gray with a chance of grayness, maybe because I’d rather be at home frosting sugar cookies with family right now rather than killing time in a cubicle because I’m low on vacation days…

Whatever the reason, “Happy Christmas” is the song I’m humming this year. Even though there is an air of melancholy to it, I like the impetus for change at the end. War is over, if you want it. Want things to be better? Make them better. Good stuff.

Much Love to You and Yours

Tag Tag Tag

2008-12-04T15:32:00.002-06:00

List seven unusual things about yourself.

1. I dabble in chiromancy and oneiromancy.

2. My Dad has one leg. (Or one leg, two spares, and a two switchable feet, depending on how you look at it.) This has never seemed unusual to me as he’s been this way as long as I’ve known him, but it tends to surprise others. In fact, when friends find out they tend to say something like, “You never told me that!” I find this unusual because when was I supposed to bring that up in conversation. “Yes, I would like another slice of pizza and my father is an amputee. Vietnam. Go figure.”

3. I have a fascination with sunken ships. It all started when they discovered the Titanic. I remember cutting out pictures of the debris from my mother’s Time magazine. I now own several books on the subject—not just the Titanic, but all sunken ships. My mother has theorized that in a past life I drowned on the Titanic. Recently I discovered that Saint Anne is credited with saving a group of sailors from a storm at Beaupré, and therefore the Quebecois consider her the patron saint of sailors.

4. My college roommate’s nickname for me was Satan. She seemed to think I was trying to get her to choke, but it was only an accident. That happened more than once. Seriously, we’d be having an innocent conversation among friends, when Miss A of the big D clan would say something along the lines of, “That’s because Anne is Satan!” I mean, really. It’s not like I caused her to vomit. More than that one time.

5. I don’t really want to see the new Star Trek movie. I am a through and through Star Trek fan. I watched all the shows. I insert quotes from the movies into everyday conversation (“This gazpacho is good. You know what else is best served cold?”). I know the difference between a Trekkie and a Trekker. I went to the Las Vegas Star Trek Experience twice. I love, truly love, Star Trek. But I think they’re totally gonna mess it all up with this stupid-ass prequel.

6. I, for a dark brief span of time, played World of Warcraft. It’s a long story that might involve an attractive male…

7. I read War and Peace mostly so I could tell people that I read War and Peace. Luckily for me, it turned out to be a pretty good yarn.

Tag Tag

2008-12-04T10:21:00.002-06:00

Pick up the nearest book (not your favorite or the coolest, the nearest) and find the fifth sentence on the 46th page. Then add the next two to five sentences.

Race Across Alaska: First Woman to Win the Iditarod Tells Her Story
by Libby Riddles and Tim Jones

We couldn’t tell who they were or what they were doing. Another team came across the lake. John and I tried to figure out who it was. Finally the team trotted close enough for us to holler, “Who the heck is that?” The bearded driver passed by, shouting, “Paulsen. I’m one of those darn Minnesota drivers. That’s why you don’t know me.”

Tag

2008-11-24T13:46:00.002-06:00

Choose books for each of the following categories and explain why they are must-reads in 30 words or less. (Or, as in my case, 30 words exactly for maximum fun.)

Fiction: Shogun by James Clavell
The story line is almost unimportant compared to James Clavell’s storytelling. His ability to develop characters and to describe places is what makes this novel such a quick read.

Autobiography: Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph by T. E. Lawrence
A compilation of history, an ode to the desert, an honest account by a victim, an apology, a litany of regret, and astounding moments of clarity amongst the swirling sands.

Non-fiction: Outwitting History by Aaron Lansky
Any literary geek or history buff or sentimental fool can’t help but love a tale such as this: saving Yiddish literature from woes of time. It’s a cultural survival story.

Any book of your choosing: The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara

Historical fiction tends to be romances in costume, but this novel is the hard, thoroughly researched, facts of the Battle of Gettysburg humanized and accessible through the precepts of fiction.

Sea Change

2008-11-05T10:12:00.003-06:00

sea change: a marked change, transformation

this: that which is existent, now, complete, here
is: the am, the are, the great gloriousness of be
my: that which is own, defined by its relation and its comparison to self
country: place defined, precisely and particularly, as symbolic representation of a quality of being, belonging, begetting of a culture, home, heart, ambition, and other words imbued with a meaning much greater than themselves because sometimes it (that which is which wells which gathers and splays) cannot be defined with just words

Halloween

2008-10-31T15:02:00.003-06:00

the dour-doored long haul of bureaucracy
blinking fluorescently in its complicity
to seep away all of last comma em
period first (please print clearly)
dusty little lively-hooded you
sliced into file folders with precision
naming of thee conventionalities
splaying you digitally, rigidly,
alone and cold in the dark oh my
winding and whining your way
through the twisties and roundabouts
of cemented impetuosity and
paved hesitancies clutching
and resisting among the poisonous
residue of possibilities worn
(pot-holed even)
and tiring, oh the weariness,
not nearly debating before the jangling
heraldry of the next ensnarement
of no just really this is just an innocent
piece of meat hanging, swaying,
its not really a problem
or a mortuary with a good sound system
nope no traps here and that scent
is not the imposing intimidation
of imminent intimacies with
iconoclastic ideologues a go go
(ay caramba)
it's just a holiday and you’re just
doing your best with what you’ve
been given skulls and bones and all
the eyeballs melting away
no, no, just kidding,
it’s fine

my sweet subconscious

2008-10-20T14:54:00.004-06:00

this and then
black patent promises
sweetly made by my subconscious
quietly humming
that it’s just a careful study in patience
a shyly made line drawing
of which flooring material
I would choose, so carefully,
should you opt to floor me
this day or then
as I step carefully
in black patent promises
my subconscious assures me
are all the rage

Raven Country

2008-09-28T20:29:00.003-06:00

Raven In the Pink
James Schoppert
Museum of the North
University of Alaska at Fairbanks

I was a little curious what it would feel like for me, as a raven storyteller, to go to the heart of raven country and the home of some of the most wonderful raven mythos. Would my little story seem inadequate? Off the mark? Silly? (Well, I was kind of going for silly in places…)

My reaction: comfortable. Two big black ravens sitting on the stones of a cold running creek, a pink lump of fish at one’s feet, the other spreading his wings. Yeah. Okay.

Call her Talks to Buzzards, catch you just past the next world.

Meesa back!

2008-09-24T14:01:00.001-06:00

I’m back from Alaska! We had an amazing time and I highly recommend you visit that part of the world if you haven’t already. I have Alaskan-related posts planned in my head but, alas, am really tired from traveling (yeah) and going back to work (boo). Until I get to such posts, however, I thought I’d have this interim “Hey I’m Back but Tired Post.”

So, my friends, I give you the song that has been stuck in my head all day.

Travels

2008-09-06T10:59:00.001-06:00

I’m off to adventures far and wide, my friends. Today I leave for a two-week cruise to Alaska with my Mom. There will be much taking of pictures.

In case you should miss your regular dose of somewhat obtuse raven mythos whilst I’m away, I give you “Kutkh and the Mice.” I found him in my raven researches and once more found a story that put my little notions to shame. Kutkh is a shape-shifting fellow who created the mountains and valleys when these mice…well, watch and enjoy for yourself.

Back soon!

Favorite Way to Waste Time on a Friday: TAG!

2008-08-01T13:27:00.006-06:00

Lee posted another one on her page so I thought I’d take a break and play. I have a slight disclaimer though: I’m too indecisive and my tastes too varied to ever have a true favorite anything. This list is just a few of the things that first came to mind.

FAVORITE

Sport: Baseball. There is something intrinsically pleasing about sitting in a park, drinking a beer, eating a hot dog, and shouting at a bunch of husky men in tight clothing as they play on a beautiful sunny day. God bless Americana.

Yatzee Color: I don’t Yatzee. No particular reason, I just have never been introduced to the game. In Trivial Pursuit, though, I’m partial to the brown pie.

Movie: Hellboy. (For those of you familiar with my Star Wars addiction, see the above disclaimer.) Guillermo del Toro is a visual effects god, or at least a crazy artistry wizard. The richness of his movies is astounding. Hellboy is a comic book movie, no doubt, but Guillermo and the dedication of the actors makes it so much more. I love the characters, the blurry lines of good and evil, the humor, the pathos, and the way Guillermo serves it up. Few things are as beautiful as the image of the demon standing in the rain with his dead father’s crucifix wrapped around his wrist. Hellboy waves his hand in front of his face, “I can’t change this,” and you have to love him. And the sequel was so completely satisfying.

Broadway Play I've Seen: Spamalot! Pure joyous laughter.

Song: “Your Mouth Into Mine” by Black Francis. The song is his dedication to Herman Brood and it’s the song I would write and dedicate to him if I could do such things. “I got into your heart—it was no big deal.”

Favorite U.S. City Visited: I crazy fell in love with Chicago. I was ready to move when my friend suggested I visit her in the winter.

Favorite Foreign City Visited: I was blown away by Florence. Florence was the Italy I was looking for when I was disappointed by Rome. Rome is a big, dirty, metropolitan city. It is still a fantastic place, but I had romantic suppositions for it that it did not fulfill. I had no expectations for Florence, and there was the dreamy Italy I was looking for.

Book: The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan. (Again, see disclaimer.) This is one of those books that just grabbed hold of me. Its subject matter is so exotic yet so relatable. From cover to cover it had me entranced. It’s a lovely treat of a novel.

Children’s Book: Alexander and the Magic Mouse by Martha Sanders and illustrated by Phillip Fix. Oh, how I loved that alligator. The image of him practicing smiling extra wide so people would like him is indelibly etched in my mind. The illustrations are magical.

Classic TV Show: "A-Team." “I love it when a plan comes together.”

Recent TV Show: "Eureka." Funny and smart sci-fi. Not to mention a hunky leading man.

Actor: Richard Dean Anderson. MacGyver and Col. O’Neil—you can’t beat that!

Actress: Milla Jovovich. Kick ass, take names, rock those skin-tight futuristic costumes!

Perfume: I don’t wear perfume. I do sometimes use Bath and Body Works scented fig and brown sugar lotion.

Food: Rare ribeye with a side of garlic mashed potatoes, and sautéed mushrooms.

Dessert: My Mom’s homemade German chocolate cake.

Chain Restaurant: P.F. Chang’s

Local Restaurant: Bourbon Street. I’ve never had a bad meal there and I dream of their shrimp.

Car: I lust in my heart after James Bond’s most recent Aston Martin.

Condiment: Spicy mustard

Kitchen Appliance: Coffee maker, but of course.

Home Appliance: Washing machine. It’s been several years since I’ve had to carry to my laundry to a laundromat/community laundry room, and I’m still very happy about that.

Beauty Product: Chrome nail polish. It’s soooooo bitchin’.

Favorite Clothing: My long-sleeve Trinity University oversized shirt. Worn to perfect softness, it comforts me like an old friend.

HGTV Show: Design Star, I guess. Not so much with the HGTV.

Food Network show: Ace of Cakes. I love watching creative people being happy as they do something well. I’m sure Mary Alice and I would be best friends if we were to ever meet.

Author: Jasper Fforde is the latest to make that list. Hysterically clever.

Male Songwriter: Frank Black (a.k.a. Black Francis) “It’s like jelly roll, like sculpture.”

Holiday: Christmas. Food, family, peace on earth.

Christmas Ballet: I agree with Lee. Is there another one besides Nutcracker?

Disney Character: Lilo of Lilo and Stitch. I rarely identify so completely with a cartoon character.

Alcoholic Drink: Silo has an espresso martini that is crazy wonderful.

Non Alcoholic Drink: Grande soy vanilla latte

Magazine: Real Simple

Animated Movie: Wallace and Grommit: Curse of the Ware-Rabbit

Mini Series: Tin Man. A very fun retelling of The Wizard of Oz. I recommend it to the Netflixers.

Season: Crab

Male Vocalist: Paul Simon “Maybe it was a third world, maybe it was his first time around…”
(He and Frank were in a death match for songwriter, so I felt he should win something.)

Female Vocalist: Sheryl Crow “…come outside and join the human race, but I don’t feel so human.”

Musical Group: Artic Monkeys “There’s only new music so there’s new ring tones”

Day of Week: Tuesday

Household Chore: Seriously? Who likes household chores? Cleaning the mirrors, I guess.

Ice Cream: Brindle’s Azteca

Candy: Gummi Bears

Artist: Dale Chihouly

Quotation: “You need a million things, a million things will come to you.”—Yogi Bahjan
I’ve been repeating that one a lot recently.

Wordzzle Tag

2008-06-18T13:30:00.004-06:00

I’m a little slow on the response to this challenge from Chrysalis Dreams. In summation, produce a paragraph using the following words.

spaghetti, larkspur, Prilosec, roaring lion, adamant, green green grass of home, paradox, filibuster, face cream, trout fishing

I cheated a tad and produced a small scene, but it’s mostly dialog so it reads quickly.
+++

Lisa stares at the television above the restaurant’s bar. Even on mute she can tell the C-SPANned senator has worked himself up into quite the filibuster. His crinkled red face and large hand gestures indicate an adamant patriotic call to action if ever there was one.

“Hey, do you need anything from the store?” Bill says as he scans the menu.

She doesn’t respond. She’s too busy wondering why chain restaurants bother to have TVs. They’re mounted too high up to see properly. Even if they weren’t permanently left on mute they would be difficult to hear over the various restaurant noises.

“Hey. You. Store. Anything?” Bill tries again.

And why C-SPAN? Is the bartender a poly sci major? Surely they can’t think that the clientele of a family-friendly chain restaurant is just so caught up on C-SPAN that they might not eat out unless it’s featured above their heads as they chow down on greasy fries.

“Did I tell you my father called?” Bill says to the side of Lisa’s head. “He was kidnapped by aliens while trout fishing.”

Lisa doesn’t register the words but she can tell there’s a tone in Bill’s voice. Her busy thoughts reluctantly drag themselves away from the ongoing restaurant TV paradox. She looks at him.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I’m going to stop by the store on the way home tonight, do you need anything?” Bill says with exaggerated enunciation.

She smiles sardonically.

“Well, I need—oh no, never mind,” she says.

“What?”

“I need face cream, but I’ll just get it myself.”

“I can get if for you.”

“You’ll get the wrong kind,” she says gently.

He rolls his eyes.

“You get the wrong fabric softener once…” he sighs.

“I said unscented and you got Spring Valley. I can’t use Spring Valley because it makes me itch,” she says. “Why do they have to put scents in everything? I don’t even know what a spring valley is supposed to smell like!”

“Like cooing birds, new larkspur, and the green green grass of home, I imagine,” Bill says philosophically.

“Hmph,” Lisa replies.

The waitress appears and asks them for their order.

“Cob salad,” Lisa answers.

“The chicken parmigiana sandwich,” Bill says.

“That comes with a side of spaghetti or fettuccine,” the waitress says.

“Spaghetti.”

Lisa gives him a look.

“I skipped breakfast,” he says, “and my stomach is a roaring lion. From the green green spring valley.”

Lisa smiles while rolling her eyes.

“I hope the lion remembered his Prilosec,” she sighs.

Six

2008-05-29T12:01:00.004-06:00

Okay, I’m too lazy to post all the rules of this meme, but Lee tagged me. You can see the rules over at her place, Chrysalis Dreams. Basically, it says to list six random things about me.

1. I’m a numismatist. (And I am not ashamed.)

2. My favorite cake is German chocolate cake. My mother makes the best German chocolate cake in the world. Some of that other stuff they call German chocolate cake just isn’t worth eating when compared to my mother’s.

3. I have a tattoo of the Chartres labyrinth on my back.

4. I love the song “Wand’rin’ Star” from the musical Paint Your Wagon. (And I am not ashamed.)

5. I only started watching the new Battlestar Galactica because Lucy Lawless of Xena fame joined the cast as an evil robot and it’s a stupid show that’s overly dramatic and I liked the old campy Battlestar Galactica much better because it had that robot dog thing and Starbuck was Face from the A Team and not some neurotic blonde who can’t commit which makes Apollo cry in every single stupid stupid episode and who the hell cares—WHY ISN’T THERE MORE ROBOT FIGHTING?! (I am so ashamed.)

(Bonus fact: “WHY ISN’T THERE MORE ROBOT FIGHTING?” was my main complaint about the new Transformers movie too.)

6. I’ve never worn braces.

Now This One I Like

2008-05-28T08:27:00.001-06:00

As someone who tries to complete a crossword puzzle everyday, I can go for this quiz.

You Are a Crossword Puzzle

You are well read, and you have a good head for remembering facts.
You are a wordsmith. You have a way with words, and you're very literate.
You are a mysterious person who enjoys dropping little clues every now and then.

What Kind of Puzzle Are You?